annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Here and now

1. I fucked up my knitting again, in a way too complicated to explain but as I was trying to get to sleep last night I suddenly understood what the pattern was saying and where I'd got it wrong. So I had to unpick several evenings' work and then pick up stitches to continue. I have no idea if I've done it properly or even if it will stay together or fall apart when I try and wear it, but I've given it my best shot and am cracking (blindly) on.


2. I can't believe the story about the refugee kids and the local hotel. I mean, I do believe it, but fucking hell, just fucking hell. Whenever you think it can't get any worse, it can and it does. The worst thing is that many people tried to report what was happening but were ignored, suggesting there's an acceptance of what happens to these children on a scale that no decent society would tolerate for a moment, whereas it seems these are the kind of people who are in charge of key departments.


3. I find it hard to remain steady and calm in the light of this. It takes me back to previous unbearable times, the most recent one involving hours and hours sat trembling in my car in the cold and dark, unable to decide where it was safe for me to go. While half knowing that I'm an adult, in fact an old, woman, whose safety is almost certainly not at risk. 


4. So I knit and crochet and swim in the sea and meditate and try to stay in the present, in the here and now, on the sofa, with a log fire burning, furry slippers on my feet, little dog asleep on my bed upstairs, a new Wordle coming online in ten minutes.


5. I like it when K updates every day. 

11:52 p.m. - 24.01.23

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