annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Uncomfortably Numb

I was going to say I'm not doing great, but I guess I am. I mean, how am I going to feel? I'm a bit numb. A lot numb. Brain dead, inert, that kind of thing. And totally forgetful. I went to my friend M's house on Saturday and she had a load of birthday cards out. Shit - did I forget your birthday? No, she said, quite kindly. You took me out for dinner. On Tuesday. Even when she said that it took me ages to remember where we'd been.

So that's how it is. But worse. Younger Daughter, my darling only daughter now - I don't know when or if I'll ever be able to call her just Daughter, although that is who she is now, my only daughter. Anyway, her. She now has Bell's Palsy which is a godawful thing where half your face drops and goes stiff, and hurts and you have to learn a new way of drinking and smiling is just scary and maybe it will go away in six weeks or months or maybe you're stuck with it.  In the meantime, here's some steroids, which will make you feel totally fucked up and angry and they may not help but they probably/possibly will stop it being permanent. I mean, really? There's always something else, isn't there?

There have also been bailiffs, but I'm not saying any more than that, just a note, to remind future me of exactly how shit this period in our lives is.

On the plus side...

It's just been announced that Diana Ross will play the Sunday afternoon Pyramid stage at Glasto - they call it the 'legend' slot, but I call it the old gits. I was surprised at how excited I was about this - didn't think I could be excited by this kind of news but there you go. And hurrah, it's not the Spice Girls - I saw one of them on a chat show recently, dropping hints that they were doing that slot and they can fuck off. They lost me right at the beginning with the combination of the slogan 'Girl Power' and the lack of anything that they really really wanted in that annoying fucking song. So they can piss off. Hm. This paragraph was meant to be me being positive...

There's a thing on twitter at the moment - six things I like, so


  1. The smell of fish being cooked in olive oil with garlic, especially outside

  2. Floating on my back in a warm sea when I'm not out of my depth and there's sand underfoot

  3. Sitting round a camp fire with a bunch of old mates, chatting shit

  4. Being a few pages into a new book by a favourite author, knowing I have loads more brand new words, characters, ideas, stories ahead of me

  5. Having all my kids upstairs asleep, safe and sound (sad face)

  6. Walking in the wind and the rain when I have good waterproofs


Night night. xx

 

12:44 a.m. - 11.10.19

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