annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


Meh and more meh

  1. Didn't win at the tribunal. I thought I should have been given at least one of the three points available for not being able to "read simple and complex written texts" because I fucking can't these days, I get overwhelmed by all sorts of things I used to be able to manage. But apparently it doesn't matter what I used to be able to do - from my answers to their questions, they decided that even when below par, I am still able to mange more than "the average person", so no points, no extra benefit. Meh.

  2. Took ED to the Japanese drummers, along with another resident of the care home, A, a young man of about 30, and M, ED's key worker who drove us there in the care home's bus. A 'vocalises' sometimes, and during the show he did so twice, both times during quiet sections, the first time for about three minutes, the second time a bit longer, but not as long as five. So maybe seven or eight minutes out of sixty. I admit, I don't know any of the circumstances of the woman sat in front of us - her life may be hell on earth. She may have been looking forward to the drummers for years. She may study drumming and be particularly interested in the techniques used in the quiet parts. Or she might have been a spoiled rich fucker who couldn't put up with a seriously disabled man expressing his enjoyment for a small amount of time. I wanted to punch her, huffing and puffing, sighing and tutting, giving A evils over her shoulder, complaining to the staff in the interval, asking for a different seat. Swanning about (she did look very wealthy, in an understated but expensive way), expecting everything to be just the way she wants it, when ED and A can't even speak or walk or make any kind of meaningful decision about their lives and I boiled over with hatred for her. Then we had a 'code brown' (use your imagination) and chose to go before the second half, and I hope she fucking enjoyed it.

  3. The drumming was utterly fantastic and awe inspiring, but an hour was enough for me and for the others, I think, and hope.

  4. When we got back to the van, in the pouring rain, we found someone had parked their brand new Mercedes right up close to the back door, so close their vision must have been pretty much filled by the sign asking for three metres to be left clear to enable wheelchair access to the ramp. No disabled parking badge, in a disabled bay. Juts another privileged arsehole who knows they are above the rules. Luckily the car parked in front of the van pulled away so M was able to move forward enough, or we'd have had to load ED and A in the middle of the road, with traffic and rain and anxiety.

  5. I've been ranting on my local facebook page and need to go to bed. It's late.

I'm grateful for my healthy body, my ability to communicate; my ability to refrain from communicating when that's the better option; being indoors with a howling wind blowing round the streets; tomorrow being another day


Laters xxx


1:00 a.m. - 31.01.18


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