annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Good job
- I've managed to write five paragraphs on 27 days out of 31 this month, which pleases me. I'm going to just keep at that for another month before trying to make the posts more interesting, but when CBB has finished - this Friday - I shall try to write earlier. It's 11.30 pm again, and I want to sleep more and better
- When I woke up this morning I felt so weary and deflated and didn't want to do anything. I feel proud of managing to force myself into some clothes, down the stairs, into the kitchen, coffee on, turmeric milk on, drink, car, drive, over the hills:
to dancing, which I didn't want to do at all, but I know it makes me feel better, that if I don't go I'll sit at the laptop getting into fights with dickheads on twitter, and I was right. I started very slow, just swaying really, gradually letting myself loosen up and lose myself in the music, the beat, sometimes the lyrics, and then all the crap gets left behind and it's a new dawn, it's a new day and I'm feeling... better than I thought possible. I dedicated my dance, once I'd shaken off the grumps, to dear Paula, for whom I feel such love considering we've never met. I held her close in my heart. For all the good it will do, but it's all I have. - When I got home I made myself an omelette:
which was pretty bloody delicious, with tomatoes and parsley and cheese and a bit of sourdough bread. We need to eat proper food, all of us. Ya hear? Good. - Bloke had taken Shirley out first thing but she needed more so I took her to the big pet shop to have a proper sniff around - apparently this counts as enrichment, which is what she needs - then weighed her on the convenient set of scales. 5.5 kilos. I still don't know how much to feed her, but knowing her weight is a good starting point.
- Tonight being the supermoon, and a big low tide, both at sunset, it seemed a good plan to go to the beach with my sister and her dog, so that's what we did. It was fucking freeezing (perishing, in fact) with an icy wind that cut right through our coats, to our bones. Her Alfie comes when called, and Shirley sticks to him like glue, so I let her off the lead to run about
then we scarpered as it was too cold and fuck waiting for the supermoon. That finally appeared as we were crossing the footbridge, and while very nice and all, from here it just looked like any full moon:
So a day that started as if it was going to be awful ended up being good. Yay for that.
I am grateful for: the ability to make myself do the thing that will make me feel better, no matter how unwilling and resentful I feel (at least sometimes); the rain stopping; a walk on the beach; a sleeping dog; done by midnight
Sleep well xx
12:03 a.m. - 01.02.18
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------