annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
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Not really 6
- So much for sleeping more - it's almost midnight and here I am, just starting to write. I'm a night owl though, no point denying it or trying to avoid it, so I need to sleep more in the mornings. My 8 o'clock wee needs to be considered a break, not the end of the night. Straight back to bed - I have an eye mask now, so more sleep should be a doddle. We'll see.
- Hard stuff today. I thought I'd arranged to see my brother fortnightly after Friday art group, but got a phone call today saying they were expecting me. It's not easy to do on a casual basis. He's really fucking ill and Sis-in-law, who I love dearly is struggling and looks terrible. There's nothing at all to be done, just spend time together while we have it and don't cry till I'm back in the car.
- I was so tired at art group that I couldn't think of anything to paint and just copied the one I did last week. I couldn't even be arsed to get the original photo from out of my bag.
I don't know why that 4 is there - I can't get rid of it, so please ignore it. I didn't notice till I just got the pic off my phone that I'd missed the boat out of the one I did today. How can I do this and not even see? It really scares the shit out of me - what else am I not seeing? I'm kind of tempted to keep doing copies from copies to see where I end up. I saw a great series of paintings by Georgia O'Keefe of the side of a house that gets more and more minimal each time until it's really just an abstract, a suggestion, but very powerful as a series. I'm going to do some more beach collages with the litter but I don't want to keep on with the pier. I thought of doing a fishing boat, but the fishermen are the bastards chucking all the tangles of line overboard so it would be difficult to find a way of presenting that.- This says 5 but it's 4. I went to the care home and took my girl out onto the pier in the biting cold and on the way had a brainwave. It's a real struggle to find a hat that will stay on, as her head is slumped against the headrest, causing them to slide off. Ear muffs - that's all she needs. A cold head isn't the end of the world but you want to keep the icy wind out of your ear holes. Sorted. This was the view from the pier today:
Pretty much the same as yesterday.6. I have a whole load of nastiness that I keep typing and deleting because I won't let myself be a person who writes nasty shit and posts it on the internet. No. I'm a person who writes it and deletes it. Hard to kid myself that's much better. I wish I could put it all down somewhere and just live my life.
I am grateful for: Nothing to rush for tomorrow; loads of free firewood off the beach; daffodils; Shirley being good at the care home; cooked potatoes to fry up for breakfast in the morning
Night night xxx
12:57 a.m. - 20.01.18
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