annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary



Son came down today and we did our usual thing of lunch and a mooch around the city.  I feel so happy that he wants to spend time with me - that conversation flows and we laugh a lot. Highlight of my days.

I've been collecting egg cases:


as apparently numbers are in decline, but they're not round here - I picked this lot up in a moment or two. The ones on the left are smallspotted catshark cases, the others are all some kind(s) of ray but I haven't managed to summon up enough concentration to check them out properly. This is the link to the project, if you're interested: 

The dog is whimpering in her crate - she should be asleep as it's 11.30. I'm not gonna start playing with her now. Usually the lights would be off so... ach, it's hard having a puppy when you're old and tired.

Tomorrow I'm meeting my friend J from Vegas - well, she's from here but she went to Vegas in 1980 to be a showgirl in a big show on the strip (Jubilee), married a technician and has been out there ever since. She's home for a brief holiday with two of her daughters, one of whom has brought her seven kids with her. I know, seven! Quite a lot of them are adopted, two groups of siblings - anyway the kids all want to do a beachclean so that's the plan for the morning. I haven't met them yet, and am pretty excited about it. J is lovely - I really wish I could see her for more than a couple of hours but she has loads of friends and family so I'm lucky to be in at all.

Then I'm taking Sis over to visit Bro. She has a good heart, my sis, but is crap at difficult emotional stuff and doesn't feel she could make it over on her own. I feel quite anxious about it. Very anxious. Very fucking anxious. Previously they haven't got along very well, probably because she's quite rude and he's quite smug, so I have no idea how she's going to negotiate a visit now he can't speak. Or how I will with both of them. We all love each other a lot even if we do annoy each other. I'm not really thinking about it, I realise. I can write these words down while staying right here, not letting myself engage with any of the feelings. Apart from annoyance at the spellcheck always picking up the UK spellings as errors, like realise - I feel that.

Today I have eaten too much, though I walked 5.7 miles and apparently used 392 extra calories. My pedometer tells me distance, steps, aerobic steps and calories. I'm guessing that means extra calories. Does it mean I can eat a big pie? I'm doing the 1000 miles again in 2018 so I've been reading posts about peoples' experience of last year - loads of them lost weight, but I didn't - I've never been so heavy. Well, not since I stopped smoking for six months or so in about 1998.

I also had a call today from the new Investigating Officer in the case of the stolen benefits. The file has been sent to the county where ex-son-in-law lives, so a new police force are in charge. She was very pleasant and very angry about it all. Fuck me, but it's all so slow. Early October when I first reported this and we're still nowhere near XSIL being interviewed. She's applying for permission to see the bank account details, which is where it will stand or fall. I can't think about someone having access to bank details without remembering fonejacker and the pigeon in the bank account.


Today I am grateful for: Son, awesome Son, ten years clean tomorrow. I usually do five gratitudes but I think he deserves to stand alone. Brilliant.

Sleep tight, dear friends xxx

12:20 a.m. - 07.01.18


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