annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fuck Of course they'd considered it, removing the kidney along with the stone, but it's a major operation requiring significant anaesthetic and no one thinks she could survive such a thing. They are of the opinion that all we would achieve is robbing her of a peaceful death in the bosom of her family. At which point I realised that I'd been kidding myself about not hoping, but I had indeed given myself a couple of days off despair, which is now back, along with anguish, grief, righteous indignation and all that. Tomorrow she moves back to the care home and I will attempt to put a bit more self care back into my life, though I don't know if I will be able to. The time I have with her is coming to an end and I don't want to miss any of it, even if it is sitting in silence next to her, fiddling about with my phone half the time or knitting interminable scarves. We watched the One Love concert today and I thought yes, this is us, whoever that is. Two weeks after one bomb, back in the same place, less than 24 hours after more killings, we gather together and say fuck off, we're not terrorised. Because we're not. I've read several articles today (on my phone, at the bedside) by US commentators discussing the narrative of not being terrified by this, of talking about the odds as if that was what mattered, as if it's all bullshit and Britain is currently cowering in fear of what will happen next. We're not. Nor were the French. I don't know why not. It's not just me because of what's happening with Sam - it was the same after 7/7 when Son was already living in London - there's an anxiety until you know they're safe but then you don't think of it. Mind you, the authors I read were heavily critical of Obama and his attitude so they are probably creeps anyway. Here's our Robbie, dragging himself on stage despite heavy duty mental ill health, making me cry, the fucker
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rilBqfxbqlI&w=560&h=315] I am grateful for: the nursing profession; windy walks on the beach; drugs; music; health 12:40 a.m. - 07.06.17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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