annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Too hard Finally, finally arrived at a state of mind yesterday where I could let myself rest a bit and managed to spend the day doing very very little. Bloke came and cooked us a meal and my friend D called in on her way home from a visit to her dad. All good and chilled and lovely but I woke up this morning to great heaving sobs of despair. I need to be getting up and dressed and ready to drive up the motorway to Elder Daughter's and the simple truth is that I don't want to. I don't want to sit in their small home biting my tongue about SIL being such an uncaring git, taking ED to various appointments, speaking on her behalf, fighting against the inertia of the health services, trying to make them see that something has happened to her mind which is not just the MS, marshalling my arguments for a second opinion, a proper review of her meds, pushing her up hill and down dale in her chair, doing all the cooking, having to stand outside in the cold every time a need a smoke and sleeping in a camp bed. The very thought of it all makes me want to cry and cry and cry. I don't have it in me and I don't want to have to dredge up the energy and the good will to do it. I don't know how to. But I probably will. Moan moan moan. 11:24 a.m. - 09.01.12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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