annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Monday night Today has been up and down, up and down the bleeding stairs. I can't believe I let Younger Daughter get away with coming down so late, leaving me to empty her room. Three years of college - all her notes and preliminary sketches and god knows what else, just mountains of paper - where was it all hidden? It's like some kind of tardis, her room. Yesterday she filled the back of Bloke's car with her stuff; today I've filled the boot of mine and there's still a mountain in there to be dumped. I'm being quite together about separating things into those worth donating and those heading for the tip. Two big bin bags of YD's clothes, books, CDs, a huge stack of canvases and a few other bits and bobs. I'm running on borrowed energy. Dunno where it's coming from - keep having shaky moments and having to sit down, but just have to plod on through a few more days. Bottom line is there's no one to help me with this - everyone's at work, apart from M and she's miles away. Yesterday I started having a small spliff during the day to help me along, and I think that's what'll see me through. I just get totally focused and fidgety, so I do a bit, have a rest but can't stay still so start again pretty quickly. Tomorrow I need to try and get everything I'm not taking with me out of the house, even if some of it is only into the car. The tip shuts at 4.30 in winter, so I'm not saying I have to get there for then, just have it clear indoors. Then in the evening I can get a sense of what there is left to do, without all these bags of clothes and boxes of books to clamber over all the time. There's a small bedding mountain as well, which can go in the cupboard on the landing when I've heaved everything out of that. I hate having so many thoughts dashing around my head. It's like being a teacher, without the laughs, just the permanent dread that you've forgotten something reeeally important, so everything loops round and round. End of moan. For now. 5:12 p.m. - 05.12.11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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