annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Shedless OK, into the final stretch. Impatient, unsettled, excited, anxious. Tough weekend. Shed dismantled and delivered to the allotment, garden rubbish gathered and taken to tip, everything else outside more or less ordered ready for removal. Younger Daughter and BF came and did her final clear out, traumatic in various ways - we've had some fucking hard times here in this house, me and YD, and this was the detritus of hers. Plus the fact that my last child has taken all their stuff out of my home, so this is MY place now, not the family home. Though Son, who came to help today, has left a little pile of stuff for when he visits. He packed up the books I'm not keeping as I picked them off the shelves. In the end I couldn't do a proper cull - just bunged out all the popular fiction, which is easily replaceable for pennies from charity shops, and a big box of teenage fiction for J to have in her classroom. YD has swept through the house like a sluggish tornado, leaving havoc in her wake. I was meant to take her and all her stuff back to London, but was deemed likely to be a danger to myself and/or others, so Bloke did it - hurrah for Bloke. He is her stepfather, so he needs to do things for her sometimes. It's been hard to keep myself steady through this weekend. I haven't found a way of sustaining the soothing things, like mantra chanting, that I use when I'm alone. And just being with people all day and evening is hard. I know, I know, I was lonely last time. No pleasing some people, etc. Bed now. xx
11:47 p.m. - 04.12.11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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