annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Lost

Since having a bit of a snooze on the sofa I seem to have lost a lot of today. I know there was a point at which I sighed and felt at one with my world, but I can't quite place it. There was also the bit where I'd walked a couple of miles from my car and suddenly arrived at total exhaustion with nothing to do but walk back to the car, with the fucking dog stopping every thirty seconds to sniff at something. Yes, I am that person grimly dragging a dog along on the end of its lead, face like a sour plum. Mine not the dog's.

Three good things:
1. Son called and we had a chat and he's very upbeat. He's moving jobs, on a secondment, but one he's very happy about and also moving flats next week which he's excited about too. And he's writing a lot - really good to spend time with him, if only on the phone.
2. While on my walk I bumped into a friend of Son's, a young man I've known since he was born, 36 years ago. He's a great bloke, an artist, a musician, a dreamer - a bit fucked up. We just hugged, which we're not meant to do - in fact I'd seen two women meet and hug and I'd tssed to myself about them, then I did it too. We turned our heads away - he's very tall and my head came onto his shoulder, his chin on my head and I felt his long thin arms hold me tight for a moment and it was just so good. I haven't had a hug for ages - can't even remember. Then we smiled and wandered off in our separate ways.
3. I'm reading Brown Baby by Nikesh Shukula, about growing up brown in the UK, then having two daughters and wanting to help them feel good about themselves in a racist, sexist world - it's a fucking great read - really chatty but deep - I wish I'd been able to have a conversation like this when my brown babies were little, instead of just blundering on, hoping for the best.

xxx

12:05 a.m. - 21.02.21

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