annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Meh

Not great. Not just me, I know. I'm down to a quarter of my previous strength sleeping pill and grumpy as fuck. Didn't sleep for ages last night, but I'm not giving up on the giving up, will just persevere and try to keep myself to myself so that I might still have some friends at the end of it all. I've been for walks and taken lovely photos - hard not to when it's low tide at sundown, all golden reflections all over the fucking place. People assume I'm OK. I suppose I am, comparatively. But I'm grumpy and bad tempered and that's not great.

One of the things I wish is that I could let myself off when I commit to things. Like blogging every day, or almost. No telly before 5 pm. Walking 6000 steps a day, 1000 miles this year. Losing four stone in a year. Writing down three good things that have happened every day. No one gives a fuck and I could just stay in bed and watch Offspring again from the beginning but I can't let myself.

But whatever, three good things today:

1. Chat with Son who started his new job and loves it. He's moving on Monday, gave me his address, I googled it and it's a beautiful house. He has a flat in it, and it looks lovely. Georgian, well maintained. Good.
2. I left a writing workshop I'd paid for today because it was stupid, instead of sitting through it all. Instead I went to the beach and the cafe I like has found a way to open a hatch where I got a coffee and a big slice of cake and sat on the beach in the sun. (Grumpily, but still)
3. I washed my bedding and dried it on the line and put it back on the fucking bed.

10:54 p.m. - 27.02.21

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