annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Too much Writing early today because I am going to bed any minute now. Not really, but I might. My diary today went: 10.30 swimming with Recovery Centre; 1.00 yoga; 3.30 End of Life Doula meeting ED at the care home. It was all good but felt a bit nerve-wracking when I was looking at it from this morning. I hadn't been swimming for ages, several years, since I totally lost the plot at the new pool near here, due to it being really fucking hot in there, and mad fucking noisy with shrieking teenagers' yells echoing off all the hard surfaces, and having armfuls of coats and boots and needing a pound coin for the locker and all that crap. The noise was the worst thing, that raised my anxiety sky high, frazzled my brain and stopped me being able to manage the other stuff, and I'd got as far as thinking'earplugs' but was still too anxious to be able to face another big snotty crying situation in a public place while wearing a swimmie. So when there was a chance of some support I signed up at once. Brilliant. C came along - she runs the art group and is one of those soothing presences that brings out the calm in me. All good, as if I didn't even have anxiety. I did ask her quite a few questions about how it works these days, but managed it all OK, including not being able to read the numbers on the lockers without my glasses - I asked a passing bloke who was glad to help and C suggested choosing one on a corner in future and memorising its position. Ten lengths - fuck all, but ten more than I swam last year (apart from sea swimming). I went off miles too fast for an old woman after a break, I hurtled down the first length, turned and got halfway back before my arms said, no, enough of this foolishness and I had to limp back and have a big rest. All good though. I hope to go again, though not sure when - I need to get a lot of daytime swims in to acclimatise myself before attempting it when there are lots of kids in. Yoga was yoga, blissful, mindful, lush, relaxing, energising. Then the doula, which I managed to get myself in a state about beforehand, for no real reason. She was lovely, did some reiki on ED, listened to her, listened to me, made a few suggestions, made us both feel better. I am grateful for: all the support for me and my darling ED; pie for tea; a nice chat with YD who sounds dead perky; K for proof-reading my hospice piece, which I only went and entered in the competition, fuck yeah; the chance to swim again Sleep tight dear friends, stay safe, big love xxx 11:59 p.m. - 25.02.19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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