annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Day two So it's the end of day two in the care home and I've just narrowly escaped being caught having a short strong spliff on the veranda. Just as I'd stubbed it out, a resident that we've spent quite a bit of time with came out for a last smoke. She would almost certainly have been OK about it, but almost isn't enough. But I stayed out with her for half an hour, swapping stories of mental health treatments we have survived. Like you do. ED is asleep, on her side - such bliss for her as none of us ever thought there was an alternative to flat on her back, given that she can't turn herself. Here they come and turn those that can't, every four hours, unless it's not wanted and ED said last night's was the best sleep she can remember having in ages. I think I'm doing pretty well, considering. I've managed to keep my focus and thoughts rooted firmly in the present, the right here, right now of it all at least while ED has been awake. I was doing OK till, just after last night's spliff, some fucking orderly came to change the drinking water and started inviting me to trust in Jesus, as he makes things happen. I fobbed him off politely, as is my wont, but after he'd gone I started to build up a big head of hatred for this guy's idea of Jesus, who killed my mother when I was a baby then stole my daughter via fucking multiple sclerosis. Off outside, weeping, etc etc, ended up in the nurses station being 'comforted' by a nurse who couldn't understand that I KNEW my daughter would be better off here, that was what I was crying about. Orderly appears and for once I let rip, right in his face with a bit of 'Don't you DARE speak to me about fucking Jesus,' after which I felt a bit better, took two valium and a sedating anti-histamine and fell into a fitful sleep on my airbed in ED's room. It's not just a dementia home - there are all sorts here, including quite a few MSers. ED is on a dementia wing though. 10:24 p.m. - 07.11.13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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