annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


Yeah yeah

The girl's degree show was a blast though I've crashed big time since getting home. All the way up there I had to keep reminding myself that this was YD's moment, not feeling sure that I'd be able to raise my game but determined not to do anything that would cast a shadow over a day of celebration.

And it was fine, I fell into the moment, left everything else behind, went with the flow and the flow was good. So proud of her. Pics:

This was my favourite piece - I like the use of builders' materials, I can see how it works and what it's about:

We've had endless conversations about conceptual art, which, it has to be said, is difficult for those who haven't deliberately made an effort to understand what it's all about, which I think is problematic in itself. I like the 'Give us a smile love' partly because it's massive and up there on the outside of the building where it will be seen by passing London traffic and may even provoke a thought, a pondering on why they've stuck that up there - perhaps I should explain to American friends that solo young females have this yelled at them in the street by fuck-wit men, especially as they walk past building (construction) sites.

I mean, I can see that some of the pieces are like poems, in that they don't give themselves away at first glance but require an engagement, a persevering intent, and maybe that's my problem with it, that I can't be arsed and I don't care. Or maybe that I'm old and jaded and these artists are mainly young and full of the energy of sussing out the way the world works for the first time and it's new to them but leaves me feeling ... I dunno, a bit 'so what' I guess. But I'm not the target audience, I don't suppose. I think I was the only one on opening night wearing crocs.

Anyway, we all came back to YD's, some of us a bit pissed on the free wine, and had a bonfire and a barbecue - YD does the best barbies, always marinades things and makes specific salads and shit, not just sausages and burgers in nasty white bread rolls (I've eaten an inordinate amount of those, another thing that threatens to turn into an issue at the allotment. Now S is unemployed, there are three of us who go up together to spend whole days there, me, S and M. If we're there all day we need food and it's nice cooking and eating in the open air, but M will only do sausages and burgers, cheap horrible burgers at that and I don't know why as she's a great cook. But if I cook, she won't do anything except sit and look cross and play with her phone, which is a whole load of woman hours of work undone. Obviously I'd quite like to tell her to fuck the fuck off, but the thought of any kind of conflict is more than I can contemplate and M is as fragile as fuck and I love her to death despite her being so bloody high maintenance, so I do the planting and staking and weeding and eat the sausages and say thank you, but man it was a treat to have a barbie with delicious food.

My phone is being an absolute wanker. Or maybe it's my computer - they are connected by the same cable by which I always connect them but the pc won't 'see' the phone or the picture I want to upload to fb for the photo-a-day. With a bout of serious concentration I managed to upload it directly to my fb page, only realising too late that it wasn't in the photo-a-day album, let alone the group page. I have no idea how to move pictures around the page and even less idea why I even care.

And now it's (just) my birthday and I really wish it wasn't. I haven't arranged anything with anyone because it's been a big week and now I want to lie down and not have to worry about what my facial expression is saying about my state of mind. So I simultaneously want to spend the day alone yet be bathed in love and support from a range of doting friends and family.

Grateful for: YD making it through to the very end of her degree; my lovely flat; hassle-free driving up and down to London; warm bed, milky drink

Laters xx

10:12 p.m. - 15.06.13


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