annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ten mins I decided to just type till the timer goes off, using the last time I set it for which was ten minutes - can't remember what I'd set it for. I hate not writing but sometimes it feels like a block is stopping me but that's bollocks and you just have to write through it, No one cares if what I write here is shite, you'll just click off and read something else and good for you, I would too. I write here for me, for future me, which means I have to keep going. In ten years time I don't want to be thinking what was 2023 about, in the summer? Well I tell you, future Anna, it was the summer of exhaustion. Of being unable to bear being at home with Bloke, who's always at fucking home, so out I go and get more and more exhausted. He'll get the result of his radiotherapy next Friday, whether or not it's worked, that's tiring, for him, the waiting, living with that level of anxiety and for me, living with him. You'd think I'd be kinder, but I'm not so there we are. Today I had lunch with my friend SB which was great though we ended up sat outside the fish restaurant in a wild wind because I'd taken Shirley and they don't allow dogs. Yes, brain malfunction is still quite significant. I haven't had a swim since last weekend but I'm going tomorrow, most definitely. Also, I've lost all my yoga classes and have let myself go a week without doing a youtube class. If I had any sense I'd do one before bed, but it's hard. Tomorrow I'm meeting an ex-colleague, the one who went to teach in Rome just before the pandemic and whose Facebook posts led me through lockdown so safely. She's home for two weeks before flying off to Vietnam to start a new job out there in a British school that's founded an off shoot out there. I don't quite get how that works, but I really admire her gumption. She wanted to get married and have kids but always worked too hard to give herself space to meet anyone so decided, fuck it, make work better. Four years in Rome was wonderful, so much delicious food and art and history and now she's going even further. Makes me wish I was young again. There was something I was going to rant about on here but I can't remember what, something that's been pissing me off for ages though no one else gives a fuck and this is the place for it. But right now that's my ten minutes. Hasta la vista babies. 11:23 p.m. - 01.07.23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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