annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
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Resting Miz Face
Not doing great. Going through the motions. It looks like Christmas will just be me and Bloke with Daughter coming round for a meal but not staying. No invitations to anything. Feeling sorry for myself though trying not to.
Tomorrow I'm going to the first meeting of the cold water swimmers bereaved parents group, mothers in effect, as no dads have appeared. We're meeting on the beach where I swim, for a sauna and swim. Here:
Six of us. I want to have already done it, so we know each other rather than go through the first meeting in a sauna, sitting in our swim suits, sweating, introducing ourselves. Hi, I'm Anna, my daughter died three years ago of MS. And you are? Ach, it'll be all right. The woman who organised it really needs it - this is her first Christmas without her daughter and I want to be there for her because I know how brutal and harsh it is at first and I know that it shifts and you get used to it, but you're never who you were before. I can dress it up with smart-arse remarks and some kind of almost smile, but I'm a miserable bint now and that's the truth.
12:21 a.m. - 17.12.22
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