annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary



Thursday night, late. There was just too much in today. Lots of it was good, some of it was great, but really, enough already. I'll try and do it in notes, but you probably know what I'm like by now - I get distracted (stoned) and woffle on, like in this very sentence.

1. Dentist - I made myself go at last as my teeth at the front are so fucking loose - since I walked, fast, into a glass door that hadn't been there before, nearly knocking myself out, getting a black eye and loosening my fucking teeth. They stick out in all directions and are rubbish for biting with. I hadn't even noticed till I saw a pic of me from a few years ago and bloody hell, my teeth were fine. The dentist said the front four should all come out and be replaced by four false ones stuck on a plate(?), which makes me feel sick inside. I mean, what if he's a crap dentist? What if they hurt or don't fit, what if, what if, what if???? So that wasn't great, all before half nine this morning.

2. Yoga - good. Only six of us there, very chilled and always such bliss after missing a couple of sessions.

3. Wandering about taking pictures for photo-a-day topic 'art', went to a place near the Buddhist Centre where they have pop-up exhibitions (pop-up is modern for short-term, isn't it?), and there was a thing about creative writing for teenagers and the people were so cool, we chatted and I've filled in a form to find out about volunteering with them. Yikes. Fucking hell. Etc. Don't know if it will be possible, but I miss working with kids - I was really good with the difficult ones - having been difficult myself I never hated them or scorned them - ach, I must be mad, well I am, obvs, but still. I thought the garden would be a solace, but we're still not able to get started on it due to the neighbours not sorting out their boundary and us not hassling them about it. So I need something big to throw myself into that's guaranteed to give something back in return.

4. Daughter 1, very poorly, not in an advancing of the MS way, but a multitude of little stuff that adds up to too much. She's confined to bed, looks very wee and breaks my heart. I got some aromatherapy oil with rose and frankincense and massaged it into her hands while we sat together and Pointless was on the telly. I did a bit of knitting. Didn't cry till I was back in my car.

5. Daughter 2. Not good.

6. Bloke - don't, just don't.

7. Today (2nd) is the anniversary of my dad dying. Two days after Princess Di. I miss him more this year than I ever have before and it's been nineteen years. He knew that life could be a motherfucker. We could have sat next to each other and sighed.

I am grateful for: living near a place where you find a zebra playing the piano

and when you ask a bloke if you can take a picture of his T shirt, he looks like this:

just nice and smiley. And I'm grateful to realise how much art I've done when I gather it together, just some of it even:

and I'm grateful for my bed, and for you, thank you for sticking with me. Hugs xx

1:44 a.m. - 02.09.16


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