annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary



I was too tired to last out the art class yesterday - I came to the absolute end after an hour and a half of a two hour class, though I made myself press on, but it was no good so I left after another ten minutes - I even had a rest outside but I was truly done in. By the evening I was livid about this perpetual bloody fucking bastard exhaustion, googled and found 21 ways to replenish your energy , which, despite being irritating for so many reasons to a tired and livid person, actually had several pertinent suggestions. Aw man, this googling is tricky stuff - I've searched for solutions god knows how many times but never found anything that fitted between having full-on ME, where you're absolutely fucked soon after getting out of bed, or being fifteen without the sense you were born with. Whatever - I made it this time.

So this morning, I

1)phoned my pal MG, down in the west country, and we chatted, laughed, cried, moaned for an hour (No18: call a friend who’s cheerful and full of energy)
2)made myself egg, bacon and tomatoes on wholemeal toast (you need protein and carbs (good carbs) in the morning - I've been back on the muesli, but it's not as sustaining)
3)chanted the 'Om shree dhanvantre namaha' which I will do for forty days - it might seem a load of hippy shite, but some any of meditation is so brilliant I can't believe I let myself drift out of doing it every day
4)Counselling, where we did good stuff about finding a flat;
5)went to Tesco's to buy Bloke a kindle for his birthday - which was back in July, but we have the right to claim flexibility on birthday presents in our family. Bloke is part of our family in that he's the kids' stepfather and my ... well, bloke, I suppose. We've been best mates since we were 19, which is pushing forty years, lived together for twenty years, of which the last seven were AWFUL (seven fucking years, we must be mental), till I chucked him out, but that wasn't really any better for either of us, though it took about two more years before we acknowledged that, and now we are as you find us, spending a lot of time together, committed to the plan of living together again one day, but not yet.

Jesus - it's 2.20 am - this is silly, the days are getting shorter very rapidly - I don't want to live so much of my life in darkness.

6) I did drawings when I got home (after 7) making chicken soup for dinner) - suddenly drawn to pastels now I'm signed up for Pen and Wash for two terms.

Gladioli done with soft pastels:

with oil pastels:

this is done with a bit of everything, including water colours:

which is from this photo I took during that little Indian Summer last week:

I think I'm going to stick with that last one for a bit, do it again and again, see what happens.

Grateful for; a much, much better day; enough soup for dinner tomorrow; getting an artist-type groove on this evening; Bloke taking Bob to the vet while I was out for her flea jab, even if he did come back with capsules to empty directly onto her skin; making plans for fun with MG.

Sweet dreams xxx

1:29 a.m. - 13.10.11


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