annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Today Up at six (yes, me!), coffee - he'd bought a bag of whole beans instead of ground so I had to grind them and didn't do them enough so it tasted horrid, then into the HIIT workout, hard, really hard - included one of those leaning against the wall and sliding down till you're in a sitting position but with no chair and holding it for 45 seconds. 'Think of a lovely beach holiday,' she says, to distract yourself, but I can't afford a day trip to London so don't try and cheer me up with talk of beach holidays, you fucker. And 45 seconds can be a bloody long time. Off to therapy, through thick mist all along the river then out into bright sunshine and at last some real warmth. Listening to Frank Skinner's poetry podcast about Sylvia Plath - does he not know that she lived right next to the churchyard? He spoke as if her references to that in the poem The Moon and The Yewtree were only metaphorical, but they could have been physical as well. Therapy. No EMDR, just talking through the complications of relationships between me, Son and Daughter, how to manage Sam's anniversary, keeping it about her, keeping myself out of the troubles between them, they're fucking adults, Jeez, they're almost middle-aged adults, I don't need to be involved in their shit. So glad to have the possibility, probability of Son back in my life. Beyond glad. Brunch outside a cafe, took a book of short stories, didn't keep scrolling through my phone. Stayed calm as the wasps flittered around me. Met M on the beach for a swim, lovely, she's one of my all time favourite people, both my Ms are. Two of the best. Haircut, really short. The woman who cuts it makes me feel a bit of a weirdo - she's so surprised at the things I do - says, "Oh my God, I love you!" when I tell her - I can't even remember what - she said it several times. Home. Daughter came round to get tents out of the loft - she's camping this weekend - long chat about Son and the anniversary - I think it will all be all right. Dinner of carrot fritters, nicer than they sound, and potatoes from the garden - I'd found a bag of Charlotte potatoes that had gone really squidgy and sprouted so I planted them and now we've got four big planters of them - so fucking delicious. Got a sourdough loaf started - I've been stretching and turning it on and off all evening, just put it in the fridge for a final slow prove. Bed now and I don't have to set my alarm. Hooray. 12:03 a.m. - 17.08.23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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