annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I saw a mouse He's gone, hooray, hurrah, zipadee doo da and other expressions of thank fuckness. To Womad, so not back till Monday or Tuesday. My therapist has asked me to take careful, thoughtful notes on what's different, how I experience my life differently when he's not here. So Today I took my lunch out into the garden, which I don't do - the garden is 'his' space, not because he's claimed it, but because I've handed it over. I don't want to share it with him in any way - well, I will eat the vegetables he grows. I must remember to water the tomatoes tomorrow - it's pissing down with rain but none of that gets into the greenhouse. I never choose to share a space with him - since I made an effort for his birthday he's been talking to me a lot, about his work - computers - which he's quite compulsive about - sits in his room taking them to pieces or fannying about with screens full of code - but don't talk to me about it, really, I can tell from his tone of voice which bits are going well or surprising or fucking infuriating or very pleasing but I can't even think of any of the words he uses because none of it has any meaning for me. I've turned the telly off earlier - I guess I use it to block him out. H from the swimming griefsters is coming for a meal on Friday and we're going to do a little grief writing workshop, just to see how it feels to run one. She's veggie when I asked if there was anything she didn't eat she rattled off a great long list - white vegetables, blue cheese, deserts that don't have chocolate in them. Oh God, the cat just brought a little mouse in and now it's escaped from him and run in here, hiding among the piles of books on the floor. Bed. Good night. 12:02 a.m. - 27.07.23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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