annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Day 82 Today has been a new kind of meh - just vague and unable to focus on anything all day - as I write I realise there's nothing new about this - it's a depressiony type of day, isn't it? Everything was too hard, like literally if I tried to think about anything that needed an answer - what was it I wanted Bloke to get for me from the supermarket? - I could almost feel the rusted up, clanking machinery of my brain trying to move and make connections but nothing happened, just noise. The sound of me groaning, wanting to make it work, not able to. I did the Monday meditation and fell asleep as usual, or whatever it is I do. I felt incredibly relaxed lying on the bed when I came round, very peaceful, but it didn't last, it didn't come with me into the rest of the day. When the keyboard teacher called, she asked me how I was - I can't even remember what I replied but she suggested leaving it for this week, so we did. I am managing to write this though, to describe it. It took me till almost six to reach a decision about whether to go for a swim in the sea or a walk or neither - I put my swimmie in the car but then parked inland and had Shirley with me - we walked to the beach and I stood in the sea for long enough to know that it's a good temperature for a swim - I'd left my swimmie in the car, had the dog and it was right next to the road - although the first wave that broke over my crocs felt icy cold, my feet felt fine in a moment or two rather than numb. Oh man, the US. Trump's just made his speech, fucking hell. Unbelievable. Never think it can't get any worse. 12:09 a.m. - 02.06.20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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