annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


Day 87

There were marches and protests all over the UK today, even in the little town by the river where I used to live. I'd have gone to that one if I'd known about it, probably. The city one was big, the town where the care home is was medium - why didn't I go? I didn't even think about it. I feel ashamed of that. Caught up in my own stuff all day. Though I might not have gone even if I had known - I knew about the city one, but there have been protests there all week and people have been very close together - I wasn't doing that - the streets are narrow and I'm scared of covid. I did that second test, still waiting for the result though don't think I have it for a moment.  But I probably wouldn't have gone to the protests - we still need to keep a distance from each other and that's really hard to do in a crowd, especially when you have a purpose, when you're thinking about something else. My niece who's a doctor keeps posting stuff about the need to keep going with the staying in, keeping separate, and I trust her much more than I trust the government.

I'm tired. This may not be news to you. I haven't always been tired, but it does feel like it. Today I moved very slowly through the first part of the day, setting myself up in the little room, the studio - that is so hard to say - to do the paint-along video of Picasso's The Rooster.


I'm quite pleased with it, apart from the line of the neck and upper body - they were OK when I first painted them - that was right at the beginning, the teacher had us draw the outline in orange paint and I did it in big sweeping lines that were a good shape, but faded out - not enough paint on the brush to give a good solid line. It didn't matter then but when I came to do the black outline, the last thing I did, I had to keep reloading the brush with paint and it lost the line, it got all jerky and ugly looking. I stopped because I was making it worse and I asked Daughter who suggested I might be using watercolour brushes instead of brushes for acrylics. And indeed I might as I had no idea they required different brushes. So I'll see if I can find a more bristly, less soft brush and have a go with that tomorrow. I need a basic skills course. There's probably one on youtube but I'm crap at searching and end up cross with stupid people talking shite.

Eventually I went for a walk on the beach with the dog and took this pic, which I was pleased with:AC82C71E-71B0-4DFE-B1A6-BD0994506CDC

the kite-surfer with the yellow kite came along at just the right minute. I walked the wrong way. I couldn't believe it when I suddenly realised I'd come down onto the beach and turned left, west, without even thinking, with a 25 mph wind behind me, blowing me easy as you like a mile along the beach, from where I had to struggle back, leaning in to every fucking step. The rule is, walk into the wind first then have it help you home when you're tired. Shirley was well pissed off. Invigorating though and nice to not be hot.

I've stopped eating puddings and biscuits and chocolate. I'm fed up with being too fat to do half the yoga positions in the way the teacher says - I'm still very flexible, but I am sick of this belly I'm lugging around with me all the time, like carrying a big sack of potatoes, always, never able to put it down. That's probably why I'm tired. I have no idea what I weigh now as I don't possess any scales - I used to weigh myself at the Tuesday art group as there were some scales in one of their bathrooms - but enough is enough. It'll probably take forever to come down a bit as I'm so old. Apparently I need to do strength training to get my metabolism going. Hmm.

Tonight I watched Becoming, the Michelle Obama doc. I feel so conflicted about the Obamas, They are the epitome of grace and decency - I cried with joy when he was elected, but the drones, man, the fucking drones, sent out on his order to kill people in Pakistan, a country the US was not at war with, drones that accidentally killed children again and again and again. Unconscionable. Just imagine if drones from a foreign state flew over and killed children in either the UK or the US - just fucking imagine. I know that compared to Trump Obama is practically a saint, but still.  Becoming is great though - I loved seeing her in schools, the faces of the girls, realising that they could aspire to great achievements.

Today I am grateful for: all these video things - free online classes - brilliant; the yoga lot have finally sorted out some videos as well, so I can do a good yin class whenever I like; living near the beach; low tide - I love being on the beach at low tide; having a little dog that I love so much


1:38 a.m. - 07.06.20


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