annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
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On Power
This was my homework
Task: THIS WEEK’S ASSIGNMENT: Create A Triptych
Part 1. The Making
An abstract representation of your story of power as a triptych. You have ‘3 panels’, a series of 3, to play with. This might be an abstract representation of your experience of power and agency
Part 2. The Reflection
After you have made your triptych, take some time to simply look at it, to behold it silently. Then write a reflection (a page or two, perhaps 15 mins writing) which might also be the story of moments you’ve created.
Reflection on power pieces
I brooded about this for quite a while – partly through having glanced at the task, then being over-responsive to the two stories about men and pow. Power is big in all our lives and the power of (some) men has contributed to where I am with my mental health. I’m dealing with that at my own pace and am not going to explore it here as a kind of throwaway exercise.
At first I was going to look at Sam and the power she had and then lost over her body as the MS took control but I couldn’t think how to express that so decided on the sea. I’ve lived on the coast for about fifty years now, most of my adult life and I’ve had a few incidents in that time where I’ve been reminded that the sea is massive and powerful. Most recently was about a year ago, when I couldn’t get out, waves kept knocking me down and dragging me back. I had to be helped out. I became very fearful of waves but noticed the role of strength in others facing them, personal core strength and leg strength, so started doing HIIT sessions to build my own core strength. I am much stronger now but am still scared of big waves. I can get into the sea but as soon as there’s a wave higher than my head I panic, hard and fast, I have to get out. So the last picture is the future.
The first is a big stormy sea, the second is building strength, the third is swimming happily.
I enjoyed making this, a lot. I planned it out – it’s hard meeting te requirements of an abstract piece that’s about something specific, but I stopped worrying and went for it. The stormy sea was hard till I remembered Hokusai’s Great Wave, but then I had to try and forget it, to not copy it. I’d made the paper in an art course last year and was very pleased to find a good purpose for it.
The middle one, the one about finding my own physical strength, was OK with the figures – I liked them, especially the plank, which I can’t really do, but I didn’t know what to put behind so just quickly grabbed three different bits of scrap for each section.
My favourite is the last one. I enjoyed cutting the paper into wavy shapes. Today is World Mental Health Day and I was doing this while in a zoom art group with my compadres from the mental health facility we attend [lol, I just said this rather than rant about fucking MIND]. I love hanging out with them, so much.
Although I’m not yet able to relax in choppy waters, I swim in the calm harbour several times a week and do feel strong enough, powerful enough to say, “This is me. This is who I am. This is what I will do and this is what I won’t do.” It reminds me of what my teenage kids used to say to me: “You can’t make me!” and “You can’t stop me!”
10:54 p.m. - 10.10.23
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