annanotbob2's diary

annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Things about the RB documentary that have upset me or pissed me off:

I believe it - all of it. I watched the documentary and saw him saying on stage what he did behind closed doors - the Savile method.

I'd liked him. I've seen him live three or four times - the last time included some one to one interaction about lockdown between me and him. This makes me feel dirty, stupid and lacking in judgement. I know, I know, I have a long record of picking dodgy fucking blokes - of course I liked one that turned out to be a rapist. But then it makes me think, who else? Don't tell me Jarvis is going to turn out to have been a creep all along. There was the suggestion before Brand was named that the programme would name several top British stand-ups but it only mentioned him in the end. Who else? It makes me not want to watch any of them. Which is a shame because I love comedy.

I thought he was a bloke in recovery, that all his bad behaviour was while he was still an addict. I knew he was a sex addict but assumed it was all consensual - he was attractive and famous - people wanted to fuck him. This was true up to a point - he had loads of sex with loads of women who wanted him, but he didn't take no for an answer.

Watching it, hearing the women's words (spoken by actors) was so painful, so familiar.

The fucking contracts, the clauses in them from the BBC and Channel 4 - can't remember which was which but one had a clause saying he was not to have sex with anyone connected with the show, the other sent a memo round asking that all female crew be reassigned so only men had contact with him. What the fucking fuck? This is clear knowledge that he's a sexual predator - why are they still hiring him? Money - of course.

All the people online saying 'why didn't they report it to the police?' Here are last year's figures on rape: estimated 95,000 rapes, based on rape crisis figures; 15,670 get reported to the police, 3,850 become 'recorded crimes', 2,910 people face court proceedings, 1,070 are found guilty of rape. Not reporting it to the police is not an indication of anything other than a mistrust of the treatment they're likely to receive and the probable final outcome, without even taking into account all the recent police who have themselves been found guilty of rape. No one is going to a rape crisis centre who doesn't need to.

All this bollocks about why now - the suggestion that it's because he's telling the truth about the main stream media, so now they've had to make this up to try and silence him. Oh fuck off. The msm don't give a toss what's said about them. It's taken this long because Brand is a litigious fucker and they had to get everything watertight before putting it out there.

It's not exactly triggering but also it kind of is. It brings back all the feelings I had before when it happened to me - the time when I assumed it was my fault for getting so wasted, the other time when it wasn't even a crime because he was my husband and was legally entitled to do what he liked (yes, back in those good old days people get sentimental over), the whole everything being a colossal system where men can fuck who they like and women not wanting it, trying to make them stop is just nothing, not at the time and not later.

All those fucking people defending him, the sold out gig last night at Wembley where he got a big cheer and they all stayed and applauded, and loads are on Twitter somehow making him the victim and it's all fucking grim.

12:07 a.m. - 18.09.23

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