annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Day 259 Back to the dermatologist today, to explain why I hadn't used the cream - mega-anxiety attack and all that - which was embarrassing and awful but had to be done. I'd made notes, because I forget stuff so I managed to spit it all out and only cried a bit and he was kind and OK, though he got tearful himself when I said about so many people dying from pains they'd just been living with which turned out to be cancer but it had gone too far by the time they sought help. The upshot is I have agreed to try and start again with the cream on my leg and arm - three patches, two of Bowen's disease and one of basal cell carcinoma, then if I manage all right with that I can start on the big patch on my face, but the bit by my mouth is just going to be monitored for now. It felt like a big relief to have it over with but now I should be going to bed and using the cream and I don't want to. Later I met M in the city and we walked along the seafront to the pier to watch the starlings. The sun was already low in the clear sky, casting an orange glow over us all. It was like suddenly stepping into another world, full of people doing things - lots of buskers, little bands rather than just singers with guitars, some playing old jazz classics, others more dance/techno (whatever its called), but crowds gathered, people dancing. I noticed one woman with waist-length grey hair, wearing long flowing skirts, dancing barefoot, still there, still dancing when we walked back an hour later. There was a low slung tightrope set up between the old pillars of the West Pier and people were practising walking along it, with the sun going down into the sea behind them, Most of the businesses were closed because of the lockdown but the place was busy with people, mostly in pairs, following the rules, not keeping a strict 2m distance because there's not enough room, but giving each other space. We stood on a groyne to watch the murmuration, a vast flock of starlings swooping and diving over the pier in formation, making shapes in the sky, more and more coming to join in all the time. There was no wind for once so the sea was calm with loads of swimmers, in costumes not wetsuits, floating as if it were summer, rather than dashing in for a quick splash then out again. All I could hear was the soft hiss of the waves dragging the shingle, the squawks of the seagulls, laughter from the swimmers and a group of hari krishna devotees singing a chant I hadn't heard before, which brought it all together like the icing on the cake. Fab. 11:40 p.m. - 28.11.20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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