annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Dave

8/4/24
It’s gone deathy again. My friend J’s husband died this morning, of MS. No surprise really, just sooner than expected. Awful, always so awful when someone dies slowly, losing each part of themselves, little by little until one day they slide away. For J and others in her situation, it’s madness. She’s spent her whole life, for years now, every waking hour, meeting all his complex needs, exhausted, depressed, frantic with fear, counting every penny, endlessly phoning around trying to find help, advice, support, a bit of funding on and on and on. It’s like caring for a fifteen stone (210lb) new born baby, but with a baby you know they’re heading into self sufficiency, with an MSer you know they’re heading into oblivion. And one day there it is, they’ve gone and you have nothing you need to do. You can go out and stay out for hours, nothing to come home to. Get roaring drunk – that’s the option she’s chosen – and be as fucked up as fuck in the morning and it won’t matter, then somehow find a way to live the rest of your life without them.

12:17 a.m. - 09.04.24

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