annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- J&S I haven’t written for a while as I became overwhelmed with grief again, since Angela died, not just for her, but for Sammie of course and my brother and others – it’s true what they say about every new loss opening up the pain of past, unresolved losses. Though I have no idea how a loss can be resolved. Well, that’s not strictly true. I can look at the death of Joan, the woman who was my closest friend for twenty years, who died in 2004, so twenty years ago, and the sadness I feel at her loss is familiar, not sharp – well it does have stabs of sharpness – one came along just then, the moment I wrote ‘not sharp’ - she was lovely and on my team like no one else ever. The last time I dreamed about her we were both on a scooter – a Lambretta type thing, not a kid’s scooter – on the same scooter, on a bumpy road somewhere very hot, India, I thought, going incredibly slowly as we were talking, having a really intense conversation, both listening carefully and replying thoughtfully, enthusiastically. There was lots of laughing and wobbling about in the traffic which was all pretty slow and I woke up with no memory of the content of the conversation but with the deep satisfaction of having spent time with dear Joan. 12:55 a.m. - 08.02.24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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