annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Treading water

Saturday 20/1/24
Another lazy day – in bed till midday, dragged myself up and finished making the marmalade I’d started yesterday. I need to get a proper jam thermometer. The one I have is for meat which I though wouldn’t make any difference but it’s very hard to hold it when the jam/marmalade is getting close to the 105C it needs to be to set. The steam is scalding and the liquid often spits – I have tiny burns all up my arm – I’d already set fire to the oven glove and had to run it under the tap to stop it smouldering away, threatening to set off the smoke alarm. But despite all the aggro I’ve ended up with ten jars of Seville orange marmalade, with the slices of rind very pleasingly suspended throughout – no floating or sinking, both of which have happened in the past. I might need to make a white loaf of bread tomorrow so I can make Delia Smith’s bread and butter pudding with marmalade – very delicious. Basically marmalade sandwiches, buttered on both sides, cut into triangles, set in an ovenproof dish and drenched in beaten egg, cream and sugar (aka custard), left to soak then baked till the tops of the triangles are crisp and golden. I don’t know why I’m talking myself into it even more – I was keen already.
I was meant to swim today with Daughter but she cancelled – it’s a key safety element that you listen to yourself – do you really want to swim in the cold sea? If you’re reluctant, don’t do it. I wanted to go alone but didn’t manage it. Instead I went to the bookshop and rearranged my writing group to take place on Tuesdays instead of Thursdays, which is a fucking relief. Honestly, my brain has big gaps where possibilities don’t occur to me. Thursdays have been: Choir 10-11.30; writing group 1-2; yoga 5-6.15 and sometimes sewing group 7-9pm. Why did it take me so long to think of moving the writing group, the only one within my control? Who knows, but it’s done now, starting on Tuesday. Hooray.
The wind is back. We had about ten days off, which was nice. Not completely calm, but northerly and gentle, if bitterly cold. Now it’s back wild and noisy, south-westerly, my weather app says 23 mph with gusts of 35mph, but that the peak wind speed today was 63mph which equates to storm. So the sea will be too rough to swim in
I feel like I’m treading water at the moment – a lot of movement but not going anywhere or making any progress. Maybe I am, maybe this is the resting thing. People keep sending me memes about how healing from exhaustion is not doing nothing, it’s healing, active not passive, although it does require a less active mind and body. Meh.
The estate agent came and valued our house. £340,000. Honesty, it’s an ex-council house, still quite scruffy as we’ve been so slow at getting it in order that the rooms we did first are now tatty again, eight years later. We paid £230,000 in 2015, which was a ludicrous price then and this is even worse now as wages/salaries have not risen to match. There’s fuck all any cheaper though.
Shit, I was meant to go dancing tonight and forgot. Sigh

12:55 a.m. - 21.01.24

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