annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


Five at night

1. I was pleased today that the first I knew of it was a text from Son telling me he was OK. He works there, right there - it was all just outside his window. Fuck. I don't know what it will turn out to have been. There's only news of one assailant so far, now dead and still unnamed. The assumption is that he was a 'terrorist' but he may turn out to have been a nutter, though in reality maybe the only distinction between the two is race. Terror has been felt and the sanity of anyone carrying out such an act has to be questioned. But I'm not watching or listening to any of it - I'm trying to maintain some semblance of sanity for myself and I'll wait till the dust has settled and the hysteria of the media has died down. I liked a tweet that described a scene on the news of a reporter shrieking about London being on its knees while a bloke mooched past behind him, eating chips. It's only the media that are all wound up. The rest of us know shit happens. It's fucking fucking awful if it happens to you but it's random and rare. I've been within five miles of a terrorist pub bombing in the 70s and to be honest everyone went, " Crikey!" or "Fuck!" and carried on as before. What else can you do? I was more upset by the plane crash down the road. So there's no need for Je suis London or any other fuckery, we're fine. Those of us still here.

2. Today I went to a 5 Rhythms session.

Fucking brilliant. I didn't really cotton on to the five different stages. It's dancing, free dancing, to loud music, all kinds, the Chemical Brothers at one point, in the morning with no drugs or drink, and it becomes quite ecstatic and liberating and wonderful. Healing, soothing, marvellous. My pal M is going to come next time - it will be the day after her chemo, before the awful sets in and she's been told to move around, to hasten the movement of the chemo through her system. There were just eleven of us in a big room, with lots of space. Bliss.

3. ED is very good. She's been to a gig - G4 (ghastly low-rent 'operatic' quartet, slaughtering a range of popular songs and arias), which she loved, and also to see Beauty and the Beast at the pictures - proper going out stuff, like a proper person. So I'm trying not to see her so much, which is hard, but I'm going to try.

4. Today's walk put me over 300 miles so far this year. I'm still doing it, still liking it, but missing the sunsets. I may have to start going out again to walk in the evening as the clocks go back this weekend so sunsets will be even later. IMG_8524

5. Haven't got a five.

I am grateful for: living here, in the UK, despite all the crap; having friends to love and fear for; beach-IMG_8500

walking in the wind; care home kindness;  art group, where I'm starting a new thing with beach rubbish:



Sweet dreams. Let's all be kind - it's the best resistance to all the crap. Love and hugs xxx

12:24 a.m. - 23.03.17


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