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I did the HIIT workout this morning, sweating like a maniac, but got to the end. It makes me a bit frustrated that I won't be able to do the Wednesday one, after missing last week, but there you go, I'll forget it soon enough.
Tomorrow is the grief event in Sheffield, which I'm just about ready for. As I wrote that, I realised I'm not so I wrote a list. I mean I'm only going overnight so whatever I forget to take doesn't matter, apart from my meds, but they're top of my list so all good. I printed out my poem and my intro, and read it to my pal M, who assessed me like a Y11 speaking and listening GCSE task and gave me an A - I know they've changed the system (of course they have, can't have those teachers getting too familiar with the rules) and what was an A is now either a 1 or a 9, or maybe a 2 or an 8, as it wasn't an A*.
Hi, my name is Anna and I live on the south coast, near Brighton. I’ve always swum in the sea during the summer, but last year was the first time I kept going into the autumn and the winter. In November I spotted a post from a woman named Helena: “I am a bereaved mother, swimming in the cold, winter sea for solace. Are there any others who would care to join me?” Yes! I hadn’t known how much I needed this, until I found it. We always start our swims by saying who we swim for and naming our lost children. So tonight I will read this poem for them. For my Sammie, and...
Song for Grief Warriors
Helena started this part of our story
No longer able to just be ‘poor me’
I can’t be alone in living this way
I must find some others to help me stay
In this lonely world so sad without him
I just need others to help me stop shouting,
“Come back, come back, come back!”
Others who get it, who never would say
You’ll feel better, time heals, you’ve another child anyway
So who else is out there, lonely and scared?
Will you join with me, our sorrows to share?
We’ll sit in the wind on the cold hard stones
And listen, each to each, though we’re chilled to the bones
We’ll tell our stories, their stories
Your son, her son, our poor daughters
We’ll cry and we’ll hug then run into that water
Icy cold, quick, quick, get in, don’t wait
Step into the pain, the shock, oh that’s great
We grab hands, hold tight as waves come crashing,
The sea splashing our faces, we stand tall, all together
Waves breaking, tears flowing, we swim and we call
Where are they? Where are they? They can’t just be gone
The gulls take their cries
away
away
away
Back on the beach, skin red, faces glowing
It’s towels and hugs, hot blankets, love growing
Between us so quickly, so solid so true
You’ll be there for me just like I’m there for you
We’ll remember their faces, their names, who they were
The water will hold us, break open our hearts
Then mend us and cleanse us
Break open our hearts
Anna M
Spring 2023
11:41 p.m. - 22.05.23
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