annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Still I've done really well in not letting myself dwell on Son and all that - I haven't seen him since Glasto last year - I woke up on the Monday morning, with Covid, quite poorly, and he'd gone - his tent and all his stuff, gone. Since then and since the 'I need some space' texts, I've just let it be - when it came into my mind I let it drift away as no good would come from ruminating on it. But now it's moved into the centre of everything, everything reminds me of him, songs, views, places I go, food I eat. Ach. Today it was Bob Dylan, Blood on the Tracks, If You See Her, Say Hello. Unbearable. I can't even think of it to write without my eyes filling up and that ache in my chest just growing and growing. I don't even know where he lives any more. Daughter says it'll be OK, he'll be back, he loves me, this is just his shit that he has to sort out, and I try, I really do, to believe this and to have faith in it. And I hope he's OK - that's the big thing too - is he OK? So on we go, on we go. Today I had acupuncture, which made me feel more open, less able to chat shit on here as if this wasn't all I can think about. I took the little dog with me, left her in the car, parked in the shade while I had my appointment then took her for a walk in the wild wind. Now I'm sat on the sofa trying to raise myself to go to bed.
12:31 a.m. - 11.04.23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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