annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
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Plans
On we go, on we go, day after day. I read a thing by Elizabeth Gilbert today about still having plans, about not giving up on the future just because you're old. It was posted on Facebook so I can't link, but it was good and made me think. I'm out of the habit of looking forward, after all those years of knowing that the future would mean Sammie dying, then the pandemic when all bets were off. Now doing this big therapy means a lot of my mental capacity is occupied with that, but that won't be forever.
So what do I want to achieve in the rest of my life? I have a little mantra written on a piece of paper by my bed that says 'I draw to me everything I need for a joyful balanced life,' which I imagine is what most of us want. I do want to get healthier, by which I mean keeping going with the workouts - it only occurred to me recently that this will have to be a continual part of life - I don't get some core strength and then put my feet up, I'll have to do it forever more! Noooo! But I will, presumably not needing to do so much to maintain.
I want to complete a novel and try to get it published. This is something I can't concentrate on at the moment, but there was a cheering article in The Guardian about more older women getting published, here: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2023/feb/25/unpublished-older-female-writers-authors
which is cause for a bit of optimism, though the critical thing is choosing one of my many ongoing projects and getting the fucker finished.
I'm liking my food art paintings and might see if I can monetise them in some way. Today, after going to choir on my own and singing out like a tuneful motherfucker, which I'm not, I came home and painted yesterday's cream tea:
Tomorrow at art group I plan on painting today's lunch of sardines, avocado, kimchi and lentil salad. Or maybe my bedroom. Today would have been Van Gogh's birthday so I might paint my bedroom, or a chair as a tribute to him.
I did get my car back today though, which is a fucking relief.
11:38 p.m. - 30.03.23
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