annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
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Our Day Out
Oy. Hard day. Therapy, early, miles away, then off to an exhibition an hour's drive on from there. My car's dead so I had Bloke's, new Seat, quite nice, but I don't quite get all the whizz-bang features. My phone suddenly couldn't get any signal, no satnav, no calls or texts. I was meeting MH and some of her pals that I know a bit and we had tickets for midday. I had no idea how to get to my destination other than going home and starting from there, which was mad.
Suddenly the fucking car asked me where I'd like to go. Chichester. Street name? I didn't know the street name, just the name of the gallery - I was meant to phone MH when I arrived for directions. I said city centre and the sat nav leapt into action. Fab. Except it said I'd get to the city centre at 12.15 and I couldn't contact M to say I'd be late, which started me off into anxious mode, but never mind, off we go. The satnav had a voice - I fucking hate that, they tell you everything again and again, saying road numbers all wrong. I needed to be on the two seven two, but it kept saying the two hundred and seventy two, and I could see that on the big screen so I didn't need to keep hearing it, especially said wrong. I also couldn't turn the radio off - it was on Radio4, spoken word, droning on about the housing crisis, interrupted by satnav woman, talking shite over and over again. I kept telling myself it was all OK, but I could feel the tightening across my chest, the clenched jaw, the tears just behind the eyes, the pounding in my ears. If I turned it off I lost the whole lot - now I'm thinking why didn't I turn the volume down to zero and just have the map? That has only just occurred to me, for fuck's sake. Jeeez.
I made it, of course I did, Late, but it didn't matter - we had a time to check in, but they'd checked me in too and then you could stay as long as you liked so we sat about having coffee and breathing slowly, not crying, then went round the exhibition, Sussex Landscapes, which was great. They had quite a few works by Eric Ravilious, including this one, https://www.bookroomartpress.co.uk/product/ravilious-eric-chalk-paths/ which is my favourite, that I've never seen in real life. Also a great Turner I'd never seen, of a local canal I didn't know existed.
We went for a cream tea afterwards but I started to unravel as soon as I started to relax so said my goodbyes, drove home - a route I know well - and fell into my bed where I slept a sleep full of weird dreams including one about diving into a swimming pool where there were lots of tiny poos on the bottom. I was due to do a workout at 7 but I cancelled it because fuck it, and tomorrow is another day.
11:31 p.m. - 29.03.23
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