annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- No When I think about why I suddenly can't think what to write I remember my therapist warning me against falling back behind a wall of distraction and yep, that's what I've been doing. Busy busy busy, none of it worth writing about as it's just more of the same. So I'm going to try to do better, to connect with what's going on that I'm hiding from. I know at least one person (yes, that's you, Pete) thinks this is a better way to carry on, rather than digging around, seeing what hideous forgotten trauma can be brought to light and I'd absolutely agree with you if it would all stay hidden. On I'd go, a bit brittle, a bit distant, but basically OK, quite high achieving with all the activity I use to distract myself. But it's not like that. It's OK for a while but then a grumbling, non specific, fury starts to grow and the next thing you know I'm spitting vile things at some poor fucker or I've closed down and can barely grunt at anyone. Unless it's one of my kids, when I flip directly into a version of good mummy, that doesn't actually fool them, but no, I'm fine, nothing to see here. So I'm going to try not to do that. See you tomorrow. 12:49 a.m. - 18.02.23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||