annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
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- Well. What a few days it's been. I can't even remember what conversation I was having with Daughter that prompted her to send me this graphic,
but bloody hell, it hit the spot. J, my therapist has been trying to get me to sit with my feelings all along and I haven't known how, but suddenly I could and bloody hell, there they are by the bucketful, almost overwhelming but not quite. Massive and exhausting though. So I scrapped a lot of my plans and intentions. I was going to swim on Friday morning but decided not to - the trainer I saw said not to swim if you're feeling very emotional and I do what she said, always. I've let go of the recently reactivated commitment to walking 6,000 steps a day. All that can wait. Rest, big rest, letting the feelings come and a bit of crochet. Mas nada. Meditation, obvs. - I did go to art at the museum but I couldn't really settle. Me and one of the blokes from the Tuesday art group have decided to submit two paintings each to the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition, which accepts submissions from anyone. It costs £38 for two works, first by online entry then 4,000 are selected to be seen IRL from which the final however many are chosen. It's not with any real expectation of being selected but why not? I'm going to send a blue self portrait - I have one of my practice ones that's OK and just needs a bit of tweaking and I thought I'd do another one of the harbour but with more swimmers, with the focus on them. I couldn't concentrate though - I don't really know why, but it doesn't matter as the closing date isn't until Feb 14th, which is four weeks away.
- What I was feeling most overwhelmed about was packing up all my gear in the art room ready to swap the rooms over. The mattress is being collected by the British Heart Foundation on Wednesday and I'd spoken to the bloke who's going to help move the furniture and told him I'd be ready by the end of the week, but every time I thought of it I didn't know where to start and panic would creep in. So I had a think and asked my friend SB if she could help me and she turned up today, ready to have a crack at it. We had a drink and a chat first and she asked me why it was so urgent, why I had to have it done by the end of next week. Well that's a fucking good question, isn't it? There's no reason at all, so it's being put on pause. The mattress will still go on Wednesday and the bloke won't mind not doing it. I was so relieved I managed to go through another big drawer of clothes and bag up most of them for the charity shop.
- Apart from that it's been mainly knitting, getting my patchwork jumper back on track.
- And watching shit telly. Not really shit, but undemanding. First three eps of new Ru Paul's drag race. The Masked Singer. Ant and Dec's game show. Three eps of the US version of The Traitors. Michael Macintyre's Big Show. Not all tonight.
Good night dear friends. Thank you for reading. Keep safe. Covid is running rampant again.
12:53 a.m. - 15.01.23
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