annanotbob2's Diaryland
Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dazed and Confused
- I'm catching up on TV series I missed, so far mostly beginning with D. I've done Derry Girls, which is fucking brilliant and will have to be watched again, and am now on Detectorists which is lovely, gentle and silly and stars Mackenzie Crook, whose face I could look at forever. [And they just dropped the c word, once, very appropriately, which I always like]
- When I woke up this morning I knew it was Thursday and I was going to see J. I was running late but knew it was important to write yesterday's temperature in my diary before I forgot (for the temperature blanket I'm going to start when the wool arrives). When I opened my diary it said that yesterday I'd seen my other friend SB, when I hadn't. Gradually it dawned on me that I was all fucked up, and due to see SB this morning, not late at all, a bit early if anything and I was so relieved I hadn't driven the forty miles to J's though it was very close - I'd almost gathered the things I needed to take with me, thank fuck I didn't - but I was very concerned about the head fuckery.
- So SB and I had a leisurely late breakfast and pondered the changes we'd like to make in our lives. She needs somewhere to live - she's currently in a tiny wooden cottage in the arse end of nowhere, down miles of woodland lanes - very picturesque and close to her ancient mother, but unsustainable in the longer term. Whereas I just want to sell my massive king size bed and move rooms so I can make all kinds of art without creating such chaos. I moved all my stuff out of the way quickly to make the collage the other day and now I have no idea where my watercolour box is. And wool - honestly. We (me and SB) are going to be healthy, creative and chilled. Just you wait and see.
- I watched Luhrman's Romeo and Juliet the other night and now I see that Zeffirelli's production is being investigated for claims of sexual misconduct regarding the two stars and how they were manipulated into on screen nudity. I am so glad all this is finally getting seen through a different lens to that of male entitlement. I read a great article a few years ago that asked why so many men think no means yes and answered that question with an endless stream of examples from films and TV programmes where the female starts by saying no and putting up a fight but when the man persists, even to the point of force, they start to respond enthusiastically, as if they'd wanted it all along, as if nice girls never say yes straight away. Vile, really fucking vile and really fucking mainstream. Yes, James Bond, that includes you.
- Bloke is really quite poorly. He's taking tablets to suppress testosterone for six months before starting radiotherapy for his active prostate cancer and in the meantime is having a pseudo-menopause, with hot flushes at a rate of a couple an hour, brain fog and general vagueness. It's not great. I keep suggesting that he call either the GP or someone from the oncology team to see if anything can be done about the frequency of the hot flushes - these are the root of the other problesms as he has them all night then the bedding is soaking wet and he has to keep getting up so he's sleeping badly - I know, menopause, it's shit. But he may be able to change the meds or the dosage or something. Maybe not, but if he doesn't ask he won't find out. I can't do it for him, I probably couldn't even if we ere married, but we're not so they definitely won't discuss his stuff with me. But he won't do it. And there's something about that that closes down my sympathy channels. If you're doing what you can and it's still shit, that's awful and I'm there for you, but if you moan all day and don't make a phone call that could resolve it, then I just want you to shut up. I had a painless menopause. One hot flush and my periods stopped. Done and dusted.
12:35 a.m. - 05.01.23
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
previous - next
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|