annanotbob2's Diaryland
Diary
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Dancing and that
- Reading back through 2018, up to when my brother died, fucking hell, on and on it went, awful. People I loved dying all around me, endless bureaucracy about everything, health problems of my own, on and on and on. I am so glad it's settled down a bit (god, I can't believe I wrote that out loud), even if it does leave me with fuck all to write about. I used to do five paras every day so I'll try that again - sometimes I liked what I came up with when scraping the barrel
- I did good self care today, including dancing on my own, slowly but deliciously (to me) to a playlist I found posted by a five rhythms teacher, to dance to on the solstice. Here's a link in case you could do with a 50 minute dreamy dance. I didn't finish it but I'll do the whole thing tomorrow https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4FRJDmOZiqXTYuxh3w8zuU?si=zZP8mUUwQLiSkwjo65CWGw&fbclid=IwAR09P4i5diAZ1zx18HAaApLILcw0iCLuo0D38bXnERRKXg9U6pAyHd-xmlU&nd=1
- I stopped dancing to rush off for a swim as the sun came out. My first winter swim in a strong wind - fucking hell, that complicates the whole getting changed quickly routine. Everything kept blowing away and I started to get cold in my swimmy as I kept having to chase after things, so just chucked it all back in the bag and hurried into the ICY water. It was great, really good. I did get a bit cold but not too much as I had a hot water bottle so my clothes came out of the bag warm and I got into my dry robe pretty quick. I went into town and had a hot chocolate in the hipster organic cafe which was so delicious - dark spicy chocolate, made with grated real choc and real spices. Going to get the ingredients so I can make my own and take some with me.
- Although, I am putting on weight again like a motherfucker. I got down to 82 kg at one point and now I'm back to 88. I've been eating masses, especially sweet things. Comfort eating, it's what we do, and Christmas is hard. I ordered two swimsuits online which arrived today, size 18, too small. I could get into them but with fatty bits bulging out of all the edges, bloody rubbish. I decided to exchange one for a size 20 and keep the other because I am going to stop eating like this and it'll be there for me then. You'd think it would be reasonably straightforward swapping for a bigger size but it was one of those telephone conversations so mindfucking that it nearly killed me when it was happening so I am NOT reliving it here, but they made the mistake of asking for feedback, which I gave, fully and frankly. Tossers.
- And I worked on my song. I have two verses which I'm quite pleased with and a load of material to make a chorus. But the first verse has twelve syllables to a line and the second verse has ten - are they beats if it's a song not a poem? Each verse is about a different person, so maybe it will be OK. Before I go to bed I'm going to reread all the chorus stuff and tell my subconscious to sort something out for me in the morning.
There you go, five paras. Keep well, my friends. Thanks for reading. Hugs xx
12:26 a.m. - 30.12.22
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