annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Swim I went along to the monthly Mental Health swim this morning and did manage to get into the water briefly, with help, walking in through the waves, but once in, I couldn't bear it. The waves were high, higher than the top of my head when I was standing and although everyone else was jumping up and down and laughing, I found I was sobbing in abject terror. One of the group leaders walked me out, having only just helped me in, and told me I was brave and should feel proud of myself for having mastered a fear like that, but I didn't, I just felt scared and sad and disappointed. It feels as though open beach swimming is not going to be part of my life, apart from on days when the wind is northerly and the sea is flat. So I did feel a failure, in the face of all those others larking about, having a great time. But I went home and checked the tides and decided to go to the harbour later for the high tide. The mental health group meets at the same time, 10.30, each month no matter what the tide because the beach is always accessible, in that low tide in the city just reveals hard sand rather than slimy river estuary mud or slimy, seaweed covered chalky rocks. I got a call from Daughter who also wanted to go - she'd been at a children's event where the adults were driving her mad so we met at the harbour and it was just fucking brilliant. Good and cold and wonderful. Flat and lovely and always there at high tide. Loads of people - I can always go and there'll be people there. Clocks go back tonight so there's going to be times when I'll have to get up early if I want to swim, which doesn't appeal but who knows? Next week high tides are at 3 on Monday, then 4.15, then by Wednesday it's 6, when it'll be dark. I won't get up to swim at 6, whatever happens but by Friday high tide is 8 so still OK at 9 - 9.30 so maybe. I want to swim twice a week so I can keep Here's me and my girl getting ready to get in the water: Night night xx 11:08 p.m. - 29.10.22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||