annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Tricky

Tuesday art group was hard this morning. The volunteer didn't make it and yet again we got a curt note from Mind, barely an hour before the group was due to start. One of the group has set up her own zoom group so she opens that up when there's no alternative, but this is the third consecutive week and none of us have had a word of support from Mind. They're fuckers. Some of the group members are really starting to unravel after all this time of no support. One woman is definitely away with the fairies, telling stories, so seriously, about things that have happened to her this week that none of us know how to respond to. No, darling, you didn't fall into an open grave and get out four inches shorter. She hasn't been able to see anyone professional face to face since before lockdown. None of us know what to say to her - we're her peers and her friends, we have experience, but our own experiences, no training. I felt scared, for her and for the rest of us. Another one hadn't spoken to anyone since the group the previous week. She won't turn her video on which is a bit of a worry too.
Before we got onto that there was probably 20 minutes of complaining about being abandoned by Mind, then another long stretch about various physical ailments. While it's better to be there on the zoom than remaining out of contact with them all, we're rubbish without the teacher/facilitator. We need someone to gently guide us away from difficult topics, to make sure we don't get overwhelmed with negativity, and to keep an eye out for those who need a bit more, like the women I mentioned above. And we've all made so much progress with our art, mostly through all doing the same thing, under instruction, week after week. That helps us as well, to just follow instructions, to not have to make decisions or choices, just for that 90 minutes. It's much trickier with everyone working separately, several of them not doing anything because they have so little confidence. 
I was working on backgrounds to use for dog portraits for my sister's twins' birthday next week. I was quite pleased with them and have done the first part of photo-transferring onto two of them the pictures of the dogs that the twins' partners have snuck to me. I have to leave them overnight to fully dry. Fingers crossed. 
And I made it into the sea again, just as the sun was going down. It was a very warm day, 18C, mad for October. 64F. I went to the beach, by the fish hut at the time mentioned on the fb page and there were loads of people there, probably twenty. It was a bit choppy but a woman getting dressed said she didn't have much confidence but it had been fine, so I got in and it was fine. And I did feel so much better for it, lost all the teeth-clenching self control from the difficult morning, felt a bit energised but not too much. I could see I was knackered. 
Tomorrow me and Daughter are going to see Moonage Daydream, lovely Dave. We've booked a sofa in the old hippy cinema. 
Keep safe. Lots of Covid going round, some of it nasty. Hugs xxx

11:57 p.m. - 18.10.22

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