annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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You've done too much, much too young

Today's new/old writing group was good if exhausting. This one is more taught than just prompted, which annoyed me in some ways at the beginning, but I came round in the end. Not enough writing for me and too much thinking but I think I'm glad I blew the money on it. She didn't ask us to introduce ourselves but I liked that we all snuck in important personal information as the session progressed. I mentioned Sam, that I am a bereaved mother, H referred to her wife, M, an elderly bloke, described his wife aging and losing her looks in a short piece of writing that was powerful, honest and quite shocking. It was clearly a big deal to him - I didn't warm to him at all and hope his wife wasn't listening.


I like how these zoom groups bring us together from all over the place. In this Monday's session there were three people in Sheffield, including one American, me on the south coast, J in the US and a new British woman, joining us from Cambodia. Today's group came from M, an American living in Berlin, with a German bloke also living in Berlin, someone from Ireland - I didn't catch which part, and someone else who had to leave early (after a brief but loud and excitingly intense argument with someone before she turned her laptop off - instant transformation from mild mannered writer to mega fucking pissed off person). All these people are new to me, apart from J in the US, but it's been great having her in the group, giving us that slightly different take on things, feeding back how she sees us. 


After that I had a mini kitchen disaster - inspired by something on twitter (obvs my first mistake), I made savoury French toast (aka eggy bread) for my lunch. Bread soaked in egg, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, paprika, parmesan, then fried - gotta be great, right? It was OK - tasted nice but not a great texture. As I was clearing up I found all the egg white had somehow missed the bowl and slid straight underneath to the worktop, and, being raw egg white, was invisible to the naked eye till I started wiping. What the fuck? That has never happened to me before - I suppose I should say I have never done that before - missed the bowl with half an egg. I added some milk as the mixture was too stiff, but you don't get crispiness without the egg white. Meh. I made a shit fruit crumble the other night as well - a big one so I'm still eating my way through it. I put in too much water so the crumble set like concrete and I cut the rhubarb too big so it didn't cook through, but the berries were OK and I'm gonna eat it anyway. 


I was going to be doing a taster day tomorrow for a mental health support thingy involving some outdoor stuff - I can't remember what exactly. It might have been a farm or some environmental affair up on the downs (yes, that's an expression which caused J in the US some confusion and there's no explanation for why rolling hills are called downs when they're higher and you generally go up to them, but there you are, language, mad), but I can't face it. I'm too tired and I don't want to be collected from the station and driven somewhere in a minibus with a bunch of people I don't know. At the moment I have two writing groups and two yoga groups on zoom and one art group on zoom, plus an in person art group, a singing group and a monthly sewing group and that's enough. Especially with a therapy session every week, a dog to walk and now a tentative commitment to swim at least once a week. I wished I'd got myself better organised today as the sea was beautiful again, flat and inviting, but I was late getting there, the tide was rushing out, I had the dog and was wearing my dungarees which are a fucking pain to wriggle in and out of while trying not to flaunt the ancient bod to innocent bystanders walking along the path. Plus I'd have had to miss yoga. 


But a lie-in tomorrow will be nice. Last day of fundraising (hooray!). 

1:08 a.m. - 30.09.22

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More about goat - 07.10.22
Weds - 06.10.22
Swim - 03.10.22
Green and silly - 03.10.22
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