annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Surviving

I did too much yesterday followed, as is becoming the pattern, by doing fuck all today. Not quite fuck all - I painted a load of white tissue paper for making Gelli prints with and I did yoga. 
Yesterday I went to an Indian themed evening at a local garden - weird combination, but OK. I turned my ankle following the instructions for a bhangra dance and pulled right on the hurty bit so that was the end of that. 
This is the day when I really, really hope my girl can see us. Me and Daughter are going to dress up and go out for a meal to celebrate Sam's 44th birthday. Niece is making us a cake, decorated with pink flowers. We will be thinking of Sam all day and telling her about things she's missed, which is mainly about her son being such a beautiful young man - beautiful in spirit rather than face - not that he's ugly, but that's not what counts. Then I'm going to get that rose for her.
Apart from all that I've had a bit of a breakthrough with my desire to swap my art room and bedroom. It seems such a massive task, totally overwhelming, but the answer is to break it down into tiny, do-able segments. I need to get rid of loads of clothes I never wear, have a big down-size and that will be a start. I'm going to take one section of the bedroom at a time and chuck shit out. If I can.
Watching those TV programmes they have about hoarders has demonstrated that hoarding is connected to loss and this has certainly been the case with me. Right up until I left the house by the river, in 2007, I was great at clearing the decks. I hired a skip and filled it twice. Then moved to the city and Sam's MS increased massively and I've been unable to get rid of anything since. When I moved from the little house to the flat I took every single fucking thing with me and did the same when I moved here. But loads and loads of it is just junk. So that's the plan and I'll see how I get on. I mean, to be fair it is more complicated than it was - we know there's no Planet B, where everything we don't want goes to hang out. Ideally I'd be donating, recycling, reusing and all that, but that's too hard for me right now, that stops me doing anything. 
I ate all the ice cream again. That's three lots I've made and gobbled down quickly. Never mind. My next project is making rose hip oil, as a facial moisturiser. In fact I'm going to do that right now, on my way to bed.

12:25 a.m. - 22.08.22

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next