annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Later

Hmm. My therapist suggested that maybe I'm pissed off with M because she's being kind and caring and that makes me anxious. So she can fuck off. 


I've been eating my troubles away. Big fry-up in the cafe then a walk down the pier later where I had mini donuts and ice cream in the new cafe. I've been fed up with Bloke. My suitcase is in the loft which I can't get into as the ladder only reaches a certain way, then you have to haul yourself up. I weigh too much and my arms are too weak, so I can't get up there. I've been asking him for days if he could get it and he keeps saying yes and walking upstairs but then drifting off. This evening I got a bit sharp and he was up there for hours before coming down and saying it's not there. So I'm a bit pissed off. 


And I haven't done any packing or sorting shit out but how hard can it be. 


I've been reading back over old diaries from 2013, when Sam was fading fast, much faster than I remember. I cried for her today, a lot. 

12:11 a.m. - 09.06.22

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