annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here, now I'm going to write this with full on moaning, hoping that by the time I finish it will all have evaporated. I'm meant to be going up to London on Thursday to spend a couple of days with my friend MD. We worked together in a school, both in the English department and have seen each other a few times since but I've not made it up to hers before. I've been anxious about it, mostly due to going on the train and Covid. I was going to drive but then I was invited to a party in Sheffield on Saturday so thought I'd go on the train - it's too far for me to drive and be in party mood when I get there. I'm also anxious - OK, this is about anxiety - see, that's clarified itself already. I'm also anxious about going to Sheffield and going to a party when the only person I've met is the one holding the party who is going to be busy, obvs, being the host. I don't know what people wear to parties - it starts at six according to the online invite and is a Mad Hatter's Party. I'd forgotten the hat part so have just texted Daughter who might well have a mad hat. What's pissed me off though is MD. I'm due to go on Thursday morning and a couple of days ago I had a text asking what time I'd arrive as she's having her meter changed and they've given her the vague time of between 8-12 so she won't be able to meet me from Victoria (main London station for trains from South East). I don't need meeting from the station. I'm a fucking grown up, I've been finding my way round London for years, since before satnav, before the fucking internet, when you had to look things up in an A-Z street guide and I till ended up in the right place at the right time. I told her this, just that I didn't need meeting and she went silent for a few days and texted today saying she's had the appointment changed and she'll meet me off the train. If she'd said she wanted us to do something in town then cool, I'm up for it, but this not letting me travel across town has pissed me off. I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable, but there you go, maybe I am. I've been dealing with this by eating. A delicious Danish pastry then two Reeces cups then a Reeces bar. I could eat something now. I'm also stuck on the sofa at 22.42 according to the laptop, having remained unable to decide what clothes I need to take with me on this four day jaunt, let alone wash the dirty ones. Partly because it's raining, but that makes it more urgent to get it washed and hung up because I don't have a dryer so it needs time to dry indoors, but somehow I just fucking can't. It's now 23.22 and I still haven't moved but I've played a couple of frames of quordle and got them both out in exactly nine moves. I know this is depressive stuff but can't seem to raise myself. I can do it tomorrow. If I desperately need anything I can wash it and dry it at the launderette, but I won't need anything that much. And very often when I'm anxious like this before things they turn out to be great. In other news the Glasto tickets arrived. I decided to retire the giant piece of green felt, which used to be the top of a full sized snooker table, that we usually spread out and sit on to do the workshops as it's really fucking heavy to lug around the field and it's full of patches of dried out PVA glue that got spilled over the years, all of which look kind of nasty. So I'm also dithering about getting a waterproof backed picnic blanket. We have to have something as sewing needles get dropped and have to be found which they won't be on grass. 12:16 a.m. - 08.06.22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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