annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Misty We had art this morning, with J, our lovely tutor. She led the group, with D, her replacement, just painting along and paying attention. At the end J said that next week D would lead the group and she would paint along. D seems ok, but as we feared has that air of comfortable, middle-class do-gooder. Which she'd need to be volunteering to pick up all J's work without being paid. Nice haircut, nice clothes, expensive looking furniture behind her. I know, I can hear how judgmental I'm being, but... well, but nothing. I can hear it but I can't change it. Maybe I'll be proven wrong and we'll all be saying, 'Man, do you remember when we didn't want J to leave? How wrong were we? D is so much better, isn't she?' and we'll laugh fondly. There's something inherently cruel about taking someone away from a job she loved to do admin that she's not interested in and making her train her unpaid replacement. The volunteer can't do the admin because of confidentiality, we've learned. And I have my car back, hooray, it didn't die and it only cost £212, so all is well there, I don't have to hunt another one down. I still don't like it, but it's a car, it'll do. And Daughter completed three years clean and sober today, following on from Son's fourteen years on Jan 8th. Amazing. Daughter kept herself together through the death of her sister and then almost straight into the pandemic, getting Covid in the very early stages, before we were even in lockdown, sharing that flat with Grandson who was working from home, eight hours a day, five days a week. I can't imagine how she did that. Son has walked a long path, finding his feet in a new world, without the social lubricant of alcohol and the whole going to the pub after work scene. I don't know how he's done that, either. I'm so proud of both of them, so blessed to call them my kids. And reassured that I must have done something right as a mother for them to be strong like they are, although obviously they both became addicts before they became recovering addicts. Therapy tomorrow. We're meant to be getting started on the big stuff, if not tomorrow then soon. I feel quite scared. She asked me to think about what my priorities are, what's most important. Well, my mental and physical health. My family. My friends. My creativity. My dog. My home. Even writing that down has tired me out. Today I am grateful for... free cavity wall insulation - to be honest I forgot all about it, till I wrote 'grateful for...' then was amazed that all that drilling (the drilling in the wall kept up/but no one seemed to pay it any mind - Dylan) all morning, fell out of my mind as soon as it stopped. But thank you to the council, paying for all this for all of us. And thanks to the little bloke, dead chirpy, keeping going with the drilling in the drizzly rain that went on all day, seeping into everything. Night night xx 11:13 p.m. - 11.01.22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||