annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
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Lost Monday
Still faffing about with pictures on my phone - I discover it will only recognise photos for about ten minutes after I've taken them, then it says there's not enough disc space to open them. From my place on the sofa I took this:
and I'm sure you're as thrilled to see it as I am to post it. Today has been mainly about illness, still not mine, but virtually everyone else I know has either a heavy cold and negative lateral flow or the same symptoms and a positive lateral flow followed by a positive PCR. It's all a bit scarily random, especially given that both types of test are capable of giving false negatives, the symptoms are so similar, but the implications are so different.
I made half a gallon of nourishing turkey and veg broth with noodles for Son to take home tomorrow, then discovered I'm nearly out of freezer containers because we don't buy much stuff that comes in plastic boxes
Now I'm having that thing where all the words above the picture have no spaces, when I was trying to say it's all been a bit dreary. Son and I went for a walk along the prom - Bloke lent me his car again - and it was cold and grey and windy and the picture did upload, though none of my decent photos will.
On the plus side I have eaten nearly all my Christmas chocolates [updated since I started this para to all, I've eaten all my chocolates]- three lots of Reeces, including a white choc one, yum, and a whole box of Monty Bojangles Choccy Scoffy truffes, which were the best chocolates ever. I also finished off the trifle and most of the cream and an Indian takeaway that wasn't very nice at all - and I feel sick and a bit crochety and bad-tempered. I miss my children really. The more adult they get the more they become the two people I like more than anyone else on the planet. When they're ill, which they both are, him with lingering post-Covid cough and fatigue, her with identical but non-Covid cough and fatigue, I just get freaked out about where it might end. My grandmother outlived all three of her children and totally lost the plot when her last one died. Part of me knows this is unlikely to happen to two people in the same family, but another part points out that these kinds of risks are independent of each other, like a coin coming down heads or tails bearing no relation to other coins either before or since but remaining at 50/50 always and for every coin. So the fact that I lost my mother when I was a baby and then my daughter before her time has no bearing whatsoever on my remaining children's ability to or likelihood of surviving a global pandemic. It's all fucking random. And of course if I want them to spend any time with me at all I have to suck that kind of stuff right up and bury it deep inside as it's too heavy for them to bear, so that's where I'm at tonight.
But just like the fucking tv news, I'm ending with a gratitude - maybe I need to put this at the beginning instead of ending on a lighter note or whatever the fuck they say after reporting a whole string of awful shite happening to real people, but hey, never mind, here's a carrot that looks like a limp dick.
But I am grateful for Son and I having a great long conversation about knowledge and memory while we had a go at that ridiculous King William quiz they print in the Guardian
https://www.theguardian.com/theguardian/2021/dec/27/the-king-williams-college-quiz-2021
and without googling we got about seven answers but we laughed a lot and that's golden, innit?
Stay safe.
1:13 a.m. - 28.12.21
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