annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


On the Verge

Daughter and I went to see Russell Brand this evening. Crikey. That's what I say.

Though before I get onto that I missed a bit about Get Back - Billy Preston. He turned up at the studio, having met the Beatles when they were gigging in Hamburg and he was playing with Little Richard. Within about five minutes he was banging out perfect piano bits that filled all the spaces in the new songs that I hadn't even noticed needed a piano till then. Amazing.

So, Russell then. About a week ago I got an email from 'him' - his people - with a survey in, asking questions about how lockdown had been, which he was obviously going to use in the show. He likes to keep it fresh - he used to riff on that day's newspapers. So I dutifully filled it in, including the bit about what did you do during lockdown that you're most ashamed of. I answered it honestly, assuming there'd be plenty more interesting admissions than mine, forgot about it and off we went.

The venue were really good about covid safety - they wanted evidence of vaccines or very recent PCR test, masks, staggered entry times, pre-ordering of drinks, avoiding having people crammed together in areas with lower ceilings, good ventilation in the hall etc. So outside were a bunch of anti-vaxxers, or anti-vaccine-passport people - well organised with big printed signs and amplifiers so they could really bellow at us. Honestly though. I just think they're wrong. I'm no fan of the government - don't trust them for a second to have my interests even on their radar, never mind at heart, but they weren't even capable of supplying the necessary PPE to health workers so the chances of them managing a conspiracy to defraud the British public are nigh on zero.

Anyway, we pushed through them, got some snacks and settled down to watch Russell, He started off as he does, banging on about his spiritual heroes like the Dalai Lama and Eckhart Tolle - how he managed to get Tolle to agree to being interviewed for his podcast, got his phone number and in the end Tolle had to take out a restraining order to stop Russell calling him up all the time asking stupid questions. Funny stuff.

Then he picks up a load of notes and says, 'Right, Brighton, how did you get on during lockdown?' He starts with a bloke who admitted in the survey to pretending to be a health worker to get clapped by his neighbours - he got short shrift. Then. 'Anna. Where's Anna? Anna says that due to all the toilets being closed during lockdown she found herself having to have a shit by the side of the road, on the grass verge.' He wittered on about it for a while, then started wondering what time it had been - whether Anna had been out in the middle of the night and I just shouted 'It was in the afternoon!' No, I can't explain why, I could have kept my gob shut. But everyone gave me a massive cheer - I stood up and took a bow and answered the rest of his questions cheerfully and honestly - I was literally caught short - it came upon me out of nowhere and there was nothing else to do, nowhere else to go. And - I didn't say all this, but I'm old and I've given birth to three children, which experience included being very pregnant at an ante-natal appointment at the hospital with my legs up in stirrups, no knickers and a stream of medical students, all male, being instructed to peer up my vagina and have a look at the state of my cervix. So I'm not remotely embarrassed by anything much at all, certainly not for being the old woman who shat on the grass verge, even though he referred to it several more times and then again in his Instagram post about the show. Still, he called me Boudicca and said he loved me and I did like having everyone turn round and cheer me and Daughter was proud of me - she told all her mates that she bumped into in the interval that I was her mum.

Then we bought burger and chips and came home and that was Monday.

Today I am grateful for having a good time with my Daughter. Keep safe, y'all.

12:12 a.m. - 30.11.21


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Shaving and stuff - 07.12.21
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