annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


Tuesday evening

I was watching the only TV prog celebrating Dylan's 80th birthday and it was some old thing with loads of people covering his songs. All with better voices than him but still shit. So I found The Rolling Thunder Revue on Netflix and now here he is singing Simple Twist of Fate with full force in what seems to be an old people's home. He's always been an awkward fucker though, which is partly why I love him so I'm not really complaining. That and his lyrics - I mean, look at this, not even a particularly famous bit: "To dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free, silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands, with all memory and fate, driven deep beneath the waves, let me forget about today until tomorrow” I feel like I'd die happy if I wrote one line like that.

Anyway, on we go. I had a big dip but managed to speak about it and people responded, some in real life, like my pal J and my other pal M. I walked with M on Sunday through beautiful woods, up and down hill, not getting out of breath till the very end, then came home to do an hour of yoga with Crystal online and eat a big roast dinner and I started to feel more human again. Now it seems like it happened to someone else.

We had our kites made into a little exhibition for Mental Health Awareness Week and apparently quite a few people came in and said they were suffering with poor mental health and could they be helped, so that was deemed a success - reaching people who needed to know about the help that's available. I'm giving my kites to the daughter of the care home manager who's just had her eighth birthday and loves watermelons - most of mine being made from photocopies of my take on Frida Kahlo's watermelons.

And at last I had one of my photos selected for the daily top four on photoaday - shit, I've been doing that since 2012 and at last I'm in. The prompt was home decor - not really my thing, so I took a photo of the narrow shelf in my art room that's made from driftwood and piled up with bits of stuff I've accumulated over the years. The wall behind is a strong teal colour and I bet that's what made me stand out - the big thing is neutrals these days - beige and grey, though they call it names like stone and elephant's foot. Dull if you ask me.

Joni Mitchell is on now, singing Coyote and making me wish I had a reliable music system so I could play her albums all day. Bob Dylan playing guitar and wearing a furry hat like mine.

I'd better go - therapy tomorrow morning. I think that's been hard as well - I was given a long questionnaire to complete and it made me realise how self-sufficient I've become, how I'm out of the habit of even asking for help in real life, or telling people how I am, instead of blurting it all out here. I hadn't really noticed, but most of the questions just didn't seem to apply to me which upset me quite a lot.

Three Good Things:
1. I really liked the painting we did today in Tuesday art group. A print by Robert Gillmor of a flock of birds - I can't find the name
2. I was invited to go to the city recovery centre to do craft tomorrow - the craft person saw my post and reached out, which made me feel warm and cared for
3. I've walked much more this week - over three miles every day. Still not a huge amount but more than I have been doing. By the sea, through the city, in the woods, up the river bank - I'm lucky to have such a range of places.

Keep safe people, keep safe xx Thanks for reading

10:51 p.m. - 25.05.21


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