annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


Scans and shit

Well this has been a day and a half.

Up early, showered, into Bloke's car and off to the ****** Osteoporosis Clinic, which has very swish website and headed notepaper but turns out to be operating out of a cheap conservatory attached to the back of an old people's home in the middle of a shit housing estate. Ah well, the woman doing the scan was very nice, it was all very clean and quick and the results will come through soon.

Long phone chat with J the writer, fab, haven't seen her forever but the phone is a wonder, keeps our relationships living and real, though a hug and a cuppa, a walk on a windy hill would be better, but this is not nothing.

Text from Daughter - we have a meeting for the art project on Zoom at 4 so shall we try to get the writing part done before then? Yes, we do, bouncing five minute chunks of free writing to each other and writing the opposites till we have enough. We are going to edit them then read them to make a video.

Finish just in time for quick rest before the meeting, Daughter texts to say she's not coming, can I do it? Sure. The rest of them are all on the 12-step programme in one form or another and are a true motley collection of age, education, income, sexuality, gender and class, all of which is visible from their video presence but which is all entirely absent from the conversation. It's taken me a while to grasp that this is what's unusual about it. They've all known each other for ages so I feel a bit out on a limb as I've never met any of them face to face but I crack on as it's a gift, isn't it, to do something new and unexpected? This was even more unexpected today - neither Daughter or I attended last week and she hadn't passed on the info that today would be spent recording the video for one of the other couples, with all of us participating. Yikes. They were after a chaotic effect which we certainly achieved - I felt very nervous before we started but just got stuck in, saying my lines as requested. It's going to be shared when it's finished so I'll see if I can share it here, and our one too.

Quick change and onto the mat for yoga - oh how I love yoga and how thrilled I am to have finally settled into three sessions a week, which is perfect. Well, absolutely perfect would be alternate days, but three times a week is great - I can feel the benefit settling in, into my poor old body. It's a struggle at the moment, well has been for ages, with one step forward and two steps back. I fell and hurt my ankle so I can't walk as fast or as far, so I'm not as tired and I don't use as many calories, which has an impact on coming off the sleeping pills and on losing weight. But last night was my first night without a pill and although it did take me a while to get off to sleep, I didn't get in a state about it, but lay there doing yoga breathing to keep chilled and drifted off in the end. I'm not right off them - I'm to do alternate nights of a quarter pill or none before stopping altogether in another week.

But the worst thing that happened today - you may want to skip this - it's gross but I'm going to write it so I don't forget - was that I spent fifteen minutes struggling to pass a shit the size of a small horse which then blocked the fucking toilet. It nearly killed me - what the fuck? I've never had to struggle and since that poxy keto diet, which I only did for a few weeks, it's been bloody awful. Bloke has a thing for removing blockages from the toilet but he couldn't find it so we're having to use the outside one during the night. Thank fuck we have an outside toilet - we're both old enough to be up and down several times. I think it must be medication-based - I looked on the NHS website - my only site for medical issues as they're not trying to sell you anything and would like you to not need any services, so definitely trustworthy - and I do all the things they suggest. I eat loads of fucking fibre in its natural form - wholemeal bread, potatoes with skins on, lentils, masses of fruit and veg, gallons of water. Meh. More prunes and I just looked up yoga poses so I'll do a couple of them in the morning and every morning I guess.

I have calmed down since then and watched the final of Ru Paul's Drag Race UK, Season 2 which I won't give spoilers for. I do love the UK version - we're not so glam over here, or maybe we are in a different way, I don't know. I love this show though.

Three Good Things
1. Leftover meatballs
2. Lots of socialising all day
3. Feeling better despite it all, feeling alive.


11:41 p.m. - 18.03.21


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