annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Thursday

Here's the Bella bit I wrote the other day. We were given song titles about birds - I chose this one with no idea where it would go so just kept on scribbling and was surprised at the reception it got.

"Like a bird, on a wire, like a drunk in some midnight choir, I have tried, in my way, to be free" Bella was trying not to scream. She was glad her friendship with Naomi was back on good terms, especially now there was this lockdown, but she didn't know how many times she'd be able to hear this terrible, droning voice wafting out of Naomi's window and burrowing into her head, even with her own windows shut. It was awful, like anti-singing. She wished she still had a CD player - all her Boyzone albums were on CD. She could just do with a bit of Ronan - how did she not have a CD player?
She decided to phone Naomi to put an end to it. It worked. The music stopped, Bella could hear the ringtone, then, "HIya! How are you doing?"
Oh God. Conversation. Bella hadn't thought this through properly. "I'm... all right. You?"
"Are you, Bella? You don't sound all right."
"Well, it's... I dunno... It's all weird, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is, but we have to keep positive, don't we? It'll be over soon.... Bella?"
Bella sighed. She couldn't think of anything to say. Bloody chirpy Naomi. If she was standing on the gallows with a bag over her head she'd find the bright side somehow.
"Why don't I come down and sit in your yard? If you open the window at the top we can have a cup of tea together safely - well, almost together. I'll bring mine down - you put your kettle on, all right? Bella?"
"Yeah, all right. See you in a bit."
Soon Naomi was sat on the bottom step, just outside Bella's window as freshly made up and smartly dressed as ever. Bella wiped a clean patch in the glass with the sleeve of her dressing gown and sat on the edge of her bed.
"Well, said Naomi. "This is nice, isn't it?"

Notes: 1. I love Leonard Cohen but have noticed some people don't. 2. I remembered when watching The One Show the other night, that in my first novel, Bella had had a massive crush on Ronan Keating, lead singer then of Boyzone, at the time in the news for being outed as an unrepentant virgin, saving it till his wedding night. I didn't follow his career let alone his sex life, but there he was on the telly, all gown up, just as I was listening to Bella again, so I thought I'd pop him in. Also, 3. I suddenly thought that I needed to set this in lockdown, to get some of the everyday weird shit we'll forget otherwise. I can add it to the other stuff if need be.

So today I didn't even wake up till nearly one. I then settled into a right panic over what to do - I have yin yoga at 5.30 and wanted to do a painting class and a walk and have something to eat and wash the dishes and phone M and it wasn't possible to do it all so I wasted an hour fretting about it and doing nothing, then had some mushrooms on toast and went for a walk up on the downs. As soon as I got out into the air I remembered that these are weird times - I don't have to do it all, I can't do it all and none of it matters.

Three Good Things - even on days that feel awful there are always three good things.
1. On the way back from the walk I was leaning into a hedge trying to take a photo of a Shetland pony in the field the other side, when the bloke who owns it came past, saw me, and invited me in to take some proper photos. He keeps three rare breed rams in the same field and a bigger pony - he said he was ripped off with the rams - was told they were two ewes and one ram and had hoped to breed them, but not that bothered as they were his first sheep and he wanted to see if he could manage them, which he can. He now owns three ewes which he keeps in a pen in the dog-walking meadow, a movable pen. Those three are very used to dogs and people. It was nice. Friendly.
2. Shirley stood in the bath like a good, patient dog as Bloke poured jugs of water over her to clean off the mud. She was filthy. I don't know why I thought I needed dog shampoo - water is all that's required - she's all clean and fragrant again now.
3. Lovely video call with Daughter. I miss her and Son so much it hurts, Haven't seen Son for two months. Soon.

Keep safe xxx

11:47 p.m. - 28.01.21

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